Holiday Weekend

We had a great weekend in a really long time. Spent the holidays in the most non-traditional way - yes in the "City of Sin" - Las Vegas and in Grand Canyon.

We started Thursday evening from chicago, got into the mood of upgrading to First class and the flight eventually got delayed because of a thunderstorm in LV. Believe me there was no sign of a drop of water in LV. I need to check the American Dictionary for the word "thunderstorm" - you never know - a wind could be called Thunderstorm here. It was so damn windy and cold the night we landed.

Friday morning, we started for Grand Canyon. The drive was beautiful and V loved it. The first stop at Hoover Dam wasn't all that exciting. The history behind the construction - how thousands travelled to Nevada to find a job amidst "The Great Depression" of 1929, how dead people were thrown a flock of dead sheep and the work continued.


Some Facts : Did you know that
1. The concrete used to build the dam is enough to lay a 4 lane freeway from California to New York or a sidewalk around the world.
2. It was built by 6 companies for it was too complicated in those days to be built by a single company.
3. It was named after President Hoover who gave enough funding and accelerated the completion of the dam by 2 years.
4. It is also known as the "Boulder Dam".
5. Initially planned to be constructed in Boulder City, geologists decided it was too broad to be constructed there. So it was built near the black canyon but retained its name as the "Boulder Project."

The view of Grand Canyon from the South Rim was breathtaking. Different shades of colors, snow clad valley amidst green trees was worth viewing. It was so cold and snowing all the way. But we enjoyed every minute we spoent there. I'm so glad we did this trip. Want to take dad sometime there. Would love to have mom too but she refuses :(

Anyways so after the triresome journey to Grand Canyon it was our rendezvous with the 25c slot machines. The coins rattling out in bunches from my neighbour's machine still echoes in my mind. The drive it to win it on our own was so immense that we didn't realise how we spent $60 in no time. Casino hopping in that bad weather was all we did throught out the day Saturday. Started with Madam Tussauds, then onto The Ventian followed by Caesars (our lucky one and as I write this Friends episode where Joey dresses as Caesar flashes in my mind), then MGM grand, Bellagio and finally ended at Bally's.

I don't know if people really win at Vegas. All I saw was losers and losers. The urge to play is so high that Vivek didn't stop even at the airport. Everytime I do laundry and get 4 quarters for a dollar and the coins come down the change machine, the sound reminds me of our time at Vegas. The memory of Las Vegas will stay with me forever and that is one place I would never want to visit again!


Moments of Impulse

1. Upgrading to first class by paying $80..
2. Surrendering to the 25c slot machines even at the airport when you know the chances of winning are bleak.
3. Buying a 2 feet tall "cold" white teddy bear that occupies 10% of my modest living space.

I thought until Saturday that I had a good control over myself. However on introspection, here are my
Moments of Addiction

1. Seeing Friends every evening from 6:00 to 7:00 p.m. C
2. Sandra Brown novels
3. 25c slot machines
4. Law and Order on USA
5. Reading blogs every morning

Maybe I'm not too clear on the thin line about habit, boredom and addiction.

Festive Mood
The festive mood in the United States reminds me of Diwali/Deepavali - the festival of lights. During the holidays here - the streets are illuminated beautifully with lights, people buying gifts for each other, kids awaiting eagerly to open their presents and a break from school reminds me of Diwali. When I was a kid we would goto Madurai every year to celebrate Diwali and granny would present us with the new clothes. Well, until I was in my 8th std I remember getting new dresses only 3 times in a year - for my bday, then during the summer vacation and then for Diwali. So Diwali meant a great deal as granny, mom dad and cousin would get together - a small family get together but a memorable one.
This year I missed Diwali but am happy again in this festive mood. This whole week has been full of lunches and dinners that my poor stomach is pleading to spare it of any more junk food (junk because anything other than homemade food doesn't suit me really well). Monday was dinner with R and P, Tuesday was a business lunch, Wednesday with S, Friday at Klay Oven. Today's lunch was fun because it was Indian cuisine and so many people were apprehensive about coming over. They have got this preconceived notion of Indian food being spicy. But I guess once they tried, they enjoyed it.


Yesterday was the official Christmas Party at work that I missed, so sad. Guess all the people had a lot of fun. While they were drinking and dancing, I was reading Good To Great and watching back to back series of Friends. Its too early to comment on "Good to Great". I have just started reading. Every time I finish a Nora Roberts/Sandra Brown novel, I decide that will be my last one. But before I know I start looking for a new one. They cheer me up and they are my best friends after I get back home.

The past 2 weeks really sucked as I couldn't talk to V. My temper/anger/frustration - in short all the -ve emotions reached their peak and its so sick that I don't have anyone to talk to. Most of my anger stems from one person and I know I'm not being unreasonable. The past few days have boosted my confidence tremendously too as I know whatever I suggest is never wrong. I don't bullshit and I don't really want to give a damn too if anyone acknowledges it or not. I have also made a conscious decision of stopping myself from suggesting anything for they fall on deaf ears most of the times. After a good 1 months time some TDH (my abbreviated version of Tom Dick and Harry) will suggest the same thing and it will be implemented. I don't lose anything...losers are those who don't listen..let the firefighting continue!

Alien American Policies
I was watching the Lou Dobbs Tonight show on CNN this evening. Sensitive issues such as burgeoning number of illegal immigrants, exporting jobs that are rocking corporate and political America were addressed in the show.

The show started with 2 Republican congressmen disputing over the law governing stay of illegal immigrants' and the failure in enforcing those laws. Statistics show that there are over 8 million illegal immigrants in the United States. A staggering figure indeed! It is unbelievable that a country like the United States with all its technological and military power is unable to enforce border control and stop infiltration of illegal immigrants. Common sense says that these people could not have entered the country were it not for the officials/system turning a blind eye to their presence. Lets face the fact. While one faction boldly accepts that these illegal immigrants are essential to the functioning of the municipal system, the rest of them are too scared to face the fact. As the Lou Dobbs show interviewed a person in San Antonio (one among the 8 million) whose days starts at 3:00 a.m. (while the rest of the Americans have just hit bed a couple of hours earlier, after those late partying nights) and ends at 2:00 p.m. He drives the garbage truck and makes 160 trips on an average in a day. While the garbage companies went on strike in Chicago for a week, the city started stinking because of the trash overflowing in the cans along the streets. The system came to a halt. These people might be illegal but they are part of the society because the society needs them!

Exporting jobs : The furor about exporting American jobs to Asia is so prevalent - the next sensitive topic!
Fact : On an average over a million jobs are exported to countries in Asia every year.
Reason : America is not philantrophic to export jobs. It is for economic reasons. The same job is accomplished in a fewer bucks in Asia than here. Give less, get more policy.
Its a competitive market and couldn't have lasted this long if Asians were not

a) intelligent
b) kept pace with the demanding American managers
c) hardworking
d) had a no-nonsense-on-the-job attitude

Over the years, more and more American companies are setting up their Research and Development centers in Asian cities.
"Outsourcing" as it is commonly called is not new anymore. Any company that has not setup its center is considered late to join the race and is a loser. The latest one to join the race is Google. As it was rightly written in a news web site that "a development is frequently oversimplified as outsourcing". The American companies are in awe of the engineering talent that they are setting up "R&D" divisions and not just stopping with customer service centers.

Though the Asian companies hence the economy and hence the people and their standard of living are benefited by this outsourcing, there is a downside to it. No on is to blame but the Asians. Their behavioral pattern is so predictable and stems from their nature. Here is how a American and an Asian would respond to a typical situation:

Situation:
Day : Friday night
Problem : A high critical system that earns the company its revenues is on the verge of a breakdown. It needs assistance.
Occasion : A important religious holiday in Asia. The following weekend is a important holiday in the United States.

Asian:
No one has asked for anything yet. All the following statements are voluntary responses.
1. I'll stay awake and see what the problem is.
2. Even if I'm up the whole night, I'll stay up tomorrow morning as well. (ofcourse he/she is a robot and can indeed work 36 hours in a row. While god created humans he inserted a chip in Asians that made them robots)

American:
All the following statements are NOT voluntary responses. They are answers to questions on their availability:

1. You will have to let me know when you will call. (How intelligent, if I knew when the problem would occur then I wouldn't be a human at all..I would be one of those dumb machines)
2. It is a important holiday and I would spend it with my family. So I'm not available.

Inference : Work is worship for an Asian. FFF (Family, Friday and Festivals) do not hold more significance than a job on hand. Impressing a American manager is what one strives for all the time. I fail to understand why! They are humans after all , so why strive so hard. Agreed its a difficult economy and to hold onto a job is all the more touch but not at the cost of sacrificing one's self-esteem. The word "No" comes reluctantly to a Asian. How sad!
What they forget that their actions over the years set an expectation. What they also forget that they represent a community that is alien to this nation. Any member of that community, thereafter is expected to act on the patterns set by his/her predecessors - in short act as robots. Its TIME that this changed!
Well, I'm not criticisng either side. While I appreciate an American's respect to life and an Asian's dedication to his job, both need to bring about a balance to have a long standing animosity-free business relationship.

Diplomacy is the art of letting someone have your way. V tries his best to teach me diplomacy and I strive hard NOT to learn it. Diplomat and I - makes me laugh.

The towering inferno inside me

The flames of anger stepping from helplessness died today. For over 4 days now, anyone that has tried to make a fool of me has been in the line of fire. A harmless friendly talk was met with stoned expressions and monosyllable answers. I'm glad its all over now and that I'm back to my sane-self. Its so difficult to get me to talk once I draw into one of those self-made shells and build a wall around myself, not allowing anyone to approach me. Well one person has always been successful( and will always be though i hat to admit that - stupid ego) and talks me out of it in 10 mins :)

The weekend was awful, despite the intermittent fun and frolic. I went to see the luminiscent Magnificent Mile Saturday evening. It was fun being a part of the 90000 crowd. I have never been to such a big event. Watching all the Walt Disney and characteristic Chicago floats pass by Michigan avenue was so good. For a minute it looked like Michigan Ave. was missing something - the bustling traffic that is a highlight of this busy road. It was closed to traffic that evening. The trees lining up the road decorated with small red, green, yellow lights were all switched on at the same moment. It looked so beautiful. The barks of the trees darned with lights surrounding the historic water tower stand distinctively separate from the rest. They look so beautiful. The weather was so cooperative too - it was a beautiful day.

Sunday, went for lunch with S and heard her pour her stories abt her job and date. It was a monologue - guess because i wasn't in a good mood that day. She is lonely too and needed someon to talk to - nice company. Not to forget the lousy food - well food can never be lousy - respect any food that you eat for there are hundreds who got to bed without a meal (can heard those words of someone reverberating in my ears-taken )...the food was good! :)

Looking fwd to the holidays eagerly!

Chat Culture
It has its blessings and curses. Since Thursday last, I'm cursing it all the time. It was another long working night ahead of me and all the people from work had logged onto AOL Instant Messenger. I was so sleepy that night, that when mom buzzed me on Yahoo!, I started responding to her. We started talking about my work and how it sucked off late because of those late hours. I'm not a night person and one who needs atleast 8 hours of sleep every night to be sane the next morning. This was one reason i dreaded taking up this job anticipating the long hours my former counterpart had put in. But it wasn't all that bad for the first few months and i realised it was just OVERDONE when there was no need for it.
Well, anyways so i started talking to mom about how stressful the job was and how much politics was going on and that i hated it! Huh...i didn't look at the monitor while my fingers frantically tapped at the keyboard. After i got my frustration out in the form of words to my mom, i look up at the monitor and I'm shocked. It was a fiasco. I had typed in all those sentences to the client. Huh...the initial reaction was to say "Sorry" and i just closed the window. Subsequent requests to join the conference chat were rejected by me. Instantly i found about 4 windows blinking in blue on - these were colleagues from my company who were a part of the conference chat and warning me all the time :
One guy said, "Wrong window syndrome"
Another said, "Watch out. Be careful".
Yet another said, "Stop it. Are you ok? Whats happening?"

How i wish i had looked at the monitor..All their warnings went in vain and the damage was done.

Tim immediately asked me "Is everything ok?" I just replied "Yes". He is one person i have started admiring for his practicality. Very hard on the surface though, I'm trying to understand him better! He is the most supportive when you least expect him to be. With him, you have to look beyond the obvious to see that he is actually with you and not with the rest though it might seem otherwise.

I receovered myself after a good 30 minutes after speaking to a friend and then to my dad. Dad's words really helped. He said "Well what you said was true. So long as you didn't take names it is ok". I was so tempted to call V. It was 1:45 a.m. and didn't want to wake him up. However i left a message and next morning he called me up. It felt good after talking to him. What happened couldn't be reverted. Everyone knew what i had said. I joined the chat later that night but remained very quiet throught the night and the following day. This tension hovered over me.

It taught me to be extra careful @ work in the future!

Phobias, Manias, Philias

Yes. The words above describe extreme behavioral patterns like fear, obsession or pathlogical attraction to something. I have been looking for a specific term and I'm disappointed for not having found it. Fear of 'Periplaneta americana'. The term 'Periplaneta Americana' brings back memories of 9th Std. Biology? Well thats right, its the scientific name for that dirty insect called 'Cockroach'. Surprisingly, there is no term to describe on's fear for the insect. I assume I'm not the only one who is so scared of that lil creepy thing. All the adjectives used to describe bad, dirty, shabby, disgusting fits it well. Wonder why HE created it. We would have been so much better off without it. And I wonder why it survived all the big extinctions, since Carboniferous period.

I'm really paranoid when i see this lil creature hopping around my house. I can't sleep for nights together, get nightmares of my home filled with cockroaches in dreams! I hate its (obviously the cockroach's) ATTITUDE when it invades my space and goes around as though it owns it..its haughty attitude all too evident when its antennae dance around with pride, as though they are teasing me! I just can't stand it and scream so loud when it starts flying. The fear for cockroaches in me grew when I saw lots of big ones flying in Kumbakonam. Once you switch off the lighst in kitchen and go back after half an hour later, one can see literally 50 of them in that 20*20 feet space. Its no exaggeration! There have been days when i have found them on my blanket sharing the bed with me. Had one of those horrid experiences in Bangalore too when the goddamn son of the owner sprayed some goddamn insecticide. They got away from his part of the house but entered mine. Mom and i had such a hard time sleeping that night as my bed was filled with about 20 of them ...huh...I shifted out of my paying guest accomodation for the same reason..there were cockroaches and rats. Man...I hate Bangalore :( for its cockroaches and rats!


Well well my memory of those horrid experiences came flahsing back when i saw a funny movie. I believe the name of the movie was "the great outdoors". There are these 2 families camping and one night, the lady comes out screaming that 'something' touched her. Her husband remarks "so what honey, it has been touching you for the past 12 years and you have never objected!". It was so funny because he thought she was referring to his hand on her :) And lo! They see a bat flying....Everyone gets up. Following are the few statements they make:


It has got ears
It is flying (wasn't that too obvious)
It has eyes
It has got wings
It is coming towards us

And all of them dash out of the house. Its time for the men to show off their bravery. Without a startegy, they step into the house and come out as fast as they entered remarking "It is heavy - a 2 pounder..we need to draw a plan to kill that thing".
Later the two guys go in with brickbats, wooden basket to cover their head (protection you know), aiming aimlessly at it....huh it was fun! This reminded me of my ghastly encounters with cockroach..how i would aim at it from 20 feet with a small slipper and almost always miss it :( So anyways, they killed it finally!


That was cockroach and bats for you!

Private Moments
Have you ever
1. Felt very vulnerable for no reason ?
2. Woken up one morning and felt really down ?
3. Someone walked up to you and said something sweet and you burst into tears, feeling later like a stupid ?

Well, I experienced all of the above this morning. I burst into tears and i don't have any reasons, no answers or excuses to offer. So what if i felt like crying, i did - but dammit it was not a private place like my private moments, it was a public place - my office.

I wonder what one sleepless night can do to me - it turns me into a walking zombie - normal from a distance and an animal within proximity. I run wild and stop thinking with a clear head, its good once in a while you know! It gives me the courage to snap at people and drive them up the wall without feeling guilty later on- what a delight!

That was my day. I'm awake working again - its fun, believe me. Once i cross the deadly hour of 11 i can stay awake any longer i want to. Gazing out the window, the whole world is so serene, deserted roads, cool breeze blowing. With soft hindi music playing in the background, i have started loving working at this hour from my favourite work place - secluded room of mine. Thanks to the connected world - a paradigm shift in work! Wonder why companies in India can't promote "work from home" concept. Well "work at night form home" would be all the more better - what do you say?

Terrific weekend
Life has just been swinging since last evening. I feel so good...ummm well not that i have been feeling bad all these months. I like staying by myself and spending time alone ..but i realise i don't mind spending hours amongst strangers either! Its something i have never done before..going to dinners with people i have never met in my life. It would be a shock to friends who have known me for years, that the introvert in me is slowly giving way to the carefree kid inside. I know where this carefree don't-give-a-damn attitude is budding from. Well he saw this lil girl in the winter of '99..you did study people for 4 years and i believe it now :) I can faintly recall those words .."let your hair fall down and don't throw caution to the winds of change". Man was i impressed..i was. I fell for his words in the summer of '99..long before i thought it happened. Accident and thereafter is just a convincing cover story for myself and everyone around!

Fun Friday
Having said all this, let me narrate the events of this weekend. Friday evening, conincidentally H and H (H's friend) left office with me. I was leaving at my usual time. It was rather late for them for a typical Friday evening. They had plans to goto the movie Elephant and were meeting friends downtown. H asked me earlier in the day if i would like to join him. I declined considering it would be very late when i return and thought it was no safe to take a risk second time in 1 week. I'll come to it later what happened earlier this week and why i'm being so cautious. H coaxed me into going to dinner with him. I wasn't sure but i was willing to try. Since this Tuesday i have felt the urge to make friends in this city, call it selfish or whatever but for a girl living in such a big city alone is not easy sometimes. So long as things go fine, its fine. When they don't, they can be really bad :( The words Vivek spoke were playing in my mind all the time since last Sunday, when he said do you know who to call if there's an emergency. I didn't have an answer an he knew it. He also knows i'm not the kind who will pick up the phone and ask someone to come over for the silliest of reasons until i have not put a fight. So i agreed to H and we walked over to Sheraton to pick his mom's friend and her husband. Then we went to a middle-eastern restaurant called Rezaa's. The food was yummy ..i loved it. We were met there by H's roommate - another H-Hiromi :). She is such a lovely Japanese girl. In H's words, she is as much sane as he is insane. He is funny and she is so sweet. H and his 2 other guy roommmates are jugglers and Hiromi i persume would go nuts watching these guys upto their antics at their home. Come to think of it, i want to learn how to juggle balls. I want to do something different apart from the shit work i do. I think i'll start sketching again. Anyways so Hiromi and a professor of hers who teaches art in the University of Iowa joined us at dinner. It was kind of awkward for a few minutes in the beginning but we hit off well pretty soon and made a really good conversation for the next 3 hours. After dinner H tells me "I'm so glad you came out with us". I am glad i went out too. And he meant it when he said i could call him anytime i'm in need of help. I know i wouldn't bother him but it felt so good to hear those words in a strange big bad city! I wish i could have gone for the movie with them but i just wanted to get back home and sleep to get up in time Saturday to prepare lunch for Sarah. As promised, H and others dropped me back home though i insisted on taking a cab back home and they could go to the movie. It was nice of him.
V always tells me "So long as you hold your self-esteem very high, no one can hurt you. I think thats very true. Only when you agree to everything to what others say , do you give them the right to treat you like shit. And i don't think i will ever do that."

Shopping Saturday
Well that was Friday. Saturday began with the customary electronic conversations with mom dad and guinea p :) I can see gp growing up..his need to talk to me, relate to me, i feel closer to him now after all these years of tensions. I hope it gets better. Sarah came home for lunch..we had a nice talk..enjoyed Indian food and went shopping for a whooping 5 hours. It was kinda fun to have her around. I'm looking forward to a dinner at R's place tomorrow. Huh..as though HIM heard me, i'm surrounded by people..so much unlike me.

The event earlier this week that i mentioned was this. I was stranded at a grocery store about 5 blocks away from home. On the way back home i got down to buy a few things. In the few minutes when i was gone inside, the clouds decided to give way to rains and it poured and poured so heavily that one couldn't even cross the streets. There i was stuck for a good 1 hour without an umbrella and no taxi passing by. Had it been any other day i wouldn't have bothered. That night i had planned on getting back home and getting a couple of hours sleep as i had to stay up the whole night. I couldn't do that eventually. What upset me---------

1. What was i doing in this city and what would happen if something was to happen and no on would even notice for hours?
2. I saw people frantically pressing numbers on their cellphones calling their trusted ones to come n pick them up..and here i was standing there holding the phone but no number to call..silently watching people waiting with me and leaving within 10 minutes to be eplacd by a new set of people cursing the rain..until finally standing alone with helplessness surging inside.
3. Why had i picked this day (though i knew the answer that i didn't have time during the weekend) and why hadn't i carried a umbrella?

I felt helpless and it made be very sad but was brave enough to make it the the rain finally to the bus stop when all taxis refused to stop by - its a goddamn survival. I came home and listened to "Socha nahi tha.." and it put a smile back on my frowning face. Someone rightly said "People need hard times and oppression to develop psychic muscles."

Mundane updates
Movie lunches - a new concept started at work. In the conference room, a movie is played in 2 parts on consecutive days. It was "Office Space" this time. I missed the previous part played yesterday. Tim updated me on what happened in the first part . He had warned me a long time back that the movie has a lot of swearing, but i didn't mind. It is fun to watch a movie @ work, sad that not all people turn up. I liked this particular dialogue in the movie - "I can never be happy with my job. But if you are with me, i can be happy with my life".
I'm in a very bad today - can't pinpoint the reason or whats causing these strange mood swings. Nothing actually happened. Nothing is missing in life this morning. Everything is just the same as it has been for months. I suspect the cause for this is because the time's approaching. Its so strange that i wake up one morning and don't feel like talking to anybody, just snap at people in meetings , can't take bullshit, and can't stand when somebody else tries to act smart by answering my questions - why the hell can't people mind their own business!

Ayways i just want the day to get over. A friend reminded me of V last night and i missed him so much. At times i feel its better if no one makes a mention of him because i know what the situation is and i try to live with it. When someone mentions it this stupid cranky lil brain of mine starts processing analysing and lo - i feel bad!

Descent inot darkness
Working into the wee hours this Halloween weekend, it was truly a descent into darkness. Descent in every aspect - all our efforts to meet the goal did not succeed! Partly lack of the 3Cs - coordination, communication and commitment accounted to the failure. Its all a part of the big game. But strangely it has given me an immense confidence to get this thing going and an inner strength not to lie down until the task is finished - so typical of me. mmm...that was the darker side.

The brighter side was the V had come down. And we spent soem amazing time in the limited hours i got to spend with him.

Freak week
Solitary Saturday - Anticipating a hectic Sunday i decided to stay indoors Saturday. Felt so good lazing around most of the day. Didn't read any books, watched TV most of the day munching junkies. Went to the library and got a whole lot of books. One book worth mentioning is "Rolling with the Stones". This book is so huge and a funny thing happened - the guy at the counter looks at it during the regular security check and sighs.."hmm...impressive..so how long do you think will you complete it within". Well he didn't know i was issuing it for V. I got loads of mushy ones for myself. They are good enough to cheer me up on a low day like today!

Then in the evening took a stroll to capture a few images on the digital camera of the beauty of fall. Don't get to see much, living in downtown but its amazing how the leaves change their colors and the trees shed their leaves. No wonder why fall is considered so beautiful. I would love to drive by the countryside ..its a shame that i don't know how to drive yet!

Good Will Hunting - starring Matt Damon. I will rate it at 5. A classic movie! I don't know how many of us can relate to Will's character. Unlike Will, i grew up in many places and still was in such a enclosed overprotected life that it was so difficult to trust anybody or open up later. Its a amazing movie and a must-see.

Horrid Sunday - It was a nightmare the minute i set out that cold morning. I didn't expect the western suburbs to be so cold. Neither did a expect a kaalu to scare the hell out of me. I went on this adevnture trip to buy a coat for V and a comforter for myself. I don't know if it was a stroke of bad luck or bad coincidence but i missed almost every bus that day by a few seconds. I would see the bus passing by when i would just be about 5-10 steps from the bus stop. The worst part was to wait for 30 mins for another bus to come by! Having gone thr this ordeal, couldn't even accomplish the mission - didn't get the right size coat for him. A few antics i did:

1. Jumped across high voltage railway tracks
2. No jackets, no shoes on that cold morning
3. Didn't carry a bus schedule to where i was headed.

Finally when i thought it was all over and had this air of confidence over me - oh this is downtown i know it too well that i can walk blindfolded. "Never be too sure about anything" is what i learnt. There is this kallu guy who opened the emergency doors of the compartment next to mine just because he wanted to come and sit right across me. He sensed where i was going to get down and stood just behind me, singing all the way. Thanks to the announcement system in the train, the station was announced incorrectly. Being too nervous with a lot of luggage in hand i didn't notice the station i got down at. All these stations look so much similar. Nervous not finding anyone at the station, i started rushing towards the escalators with this guy right behind me. The moment i got out of the escalator i knew i was at the worng place. Acting on instinct i was looking for an immediate way out and surprisingly found the stairs leading to the street level. It was in a way a blessing in disguise. Had i got down at my designated station it was a long lonely 3-escalator way before i could have made it to the street level.
I always the grid map in my head, but it just didn't make any sense that day. Beleive it ornot, i circled the block 4 times going round and round until i asked someone for help and made it home!

Monday was quiet. Tuesday was terrific.

Autumn in New York this movie is so cool because of Richard Gere and Winona Ryder. But it lacks morality which is highly disgusting. How could one get to have a relationship with a woman as young as one's daughter..what is disturbing is the lady is the daughter of his one time girl friend! It lacks basic morals of human relationships.
However, the movie is fun to watch and has a very sad touching ending to it.

Wednesday is disappointing. I'm happy having found one good friend in life. I have always wondered why does everyone have some many friends and i, so few! But i guess its so nice to have a few on whom you can count on rather than have 100s of them on whom you can't reply upon. Today is disappointing because i didn't get something. V tells me so many times..no comparisons in life. Comparisons bring with them misery. I wanted the same that someone else has...since i didn't have it made me sad. Its like this quote from Animal Farm that i have always liked --

"Four legs good, two legs bad!"
"All animals are equal -- but some animals are more equal than others!"


Oh well.i don't want to be a pig..so am happy and that makes my day :)

Nothings that are somethings
I'm returning to my blog after a long time. This period has been marked by happiness, sadness, his and lows in my health and mood swings, stressful times and a lot of nothings :)
Well lets see what I did all this while..
Books :

I was too tempted to start with the books because I have been finishing them at an amazing speed. Almost one everyday despite the long stressful hours at work.
A few years ago, when I started reading novels, I had this crazy urge to finish all the novels written by Erle Stanley Gardner. And I did read about 60 of his books over 3 months. As all my other short lived interests, that too waned. I notice a similar pattern of late with Sandra Brown. So here are the books that I have read of late.

1. Thursday's Child - by Sandra Brown. Rating -3. One of those M & B types- I would say better than a typical M & B. All her books that I read after this follow a similar pattern - the man and woman have a hatred towards each other that slowly gives into passion and then unimaginable ever lasting love. However I think she matured into a better writer. Her earlier novels lack the intensity and the urge to complete the book. Most of her books run into a 200 odd pages. So one can started reading them at tea time and comfortably finish before dinner.

2.Angels and Demons - by Dan Brown. I can go on forever about this book. Its a classic novel. I have suggested this book to many of late. Though it was published about 2 years back it shot into limelight again because of the latest book by the same author - "The Da Vinci code". Angels and Demons has a lot of architectural details of the Vatican city and Rome, the details about swearing in of a new pope, the election process. Once you start reading it is very difficult to keep it down until completion. A highly recommended book for reading. No mushy details, no love affairs, no broken hearts and yet interesting -s o there definitely is something in it.

3. The Da Vinci Code - by Dan Brown. This is the latest one by Dan Brown. If you've read Angels and Demons this can be a lil boring. It is more of a factual book tracing the history of paintings by Da Vinci, tracing the history of Christ and so on. What I liked about this book - the significance of Phi, what Mona Lisa stands for , story behind the sarcastic smile on Mona Lisa's face, virgin Mary, Mary Magdalene and Christ, the Last supper and the woman sitting beside Christ...well I can go on and on. Oh yes and the details about the Louvre.

After reading the "Angels.." and "Da Vinci..." my urge to travel to France and Italy has all the more intensified. My passion for travel is at an all alltime low now however :(

4. Instant Millionaire - by Nora Roberts. I would say she falls in the same league as Sandra Brown. But if one is expecting the passion between the characters in Brown's novel, Roberts characters definitely lack it. Her descriptions are more straightforward and factual that lack fantasy. Both Roberts and Brown are authors of New York Times, have best sellers around the same time. but apart from that I don't find a striking chord.

5. Honor Bound - by Sandra Brown

6. In a class by itself - by Sandra Brown - I loved reading this one. Will not go into the details but I found some instance that I could co-relate to :) and smiled at myself that we were not the only ones to experience what we did :)

I'm reading a few more books now. will add them to the list in a few days when I'm done.


Movies

1. Mystic River. Rating -0
Starring Sean Penn and directed by Clint Eastwood, this was the most depressing movie I have seen in the recent times. Yet another movie that got rave reviews luring cinema goers into watching. Now I realize what a fool I had been to get up early Saturday morning and book tickets over the net anticipating it would get sold out soon. It had just been released. I'm not surprised now as to why the hall was not full!
It brought back some unpleasant memories of childhood and I strongly suggest don't see this movie. The acting and direction were phenomenal but the storyline wasn't. Human life is a joke that can be taken away at the shot of a gun! Faith - it is unheard of by the characters in the movie.

2. Philadelphia - Rating -5. I know this is a very old movie but I saw it only recently. No wonder Tom Hanks bagged the Oscar for this one. He is a class by himself. Somehow I end up comparing him with Aamir Khan. They don't have any striking similarities in appearances but yes both of them are way above their contemporaries in their portrayal of the characters they play. Both star in a movie once a year, are choosy about the roles and it almost always a runaway success.

3. Bang Bang you're dead - Rating -5. I'm sure its not a very well known movie. Its playing in showtime now. This play originally premiered in Arizona in 1999. Since then it has apparently been downloaded myriads of times at colleges. I simple love the movie and adore the character Josh. I even went to the extent of jotting down a couple of dialogues that impressed me. Can't find all of them now...there is one here - " Sometimes I hate being alive but I'm afraid to be dead". Its about the story of a kid who has to prove himself for being accepted everywhere - at home , at school, at play. He does his best and yet does not get acceptance. In the process he loses his own identity and shows to the rest of the world that it is HATE that the world understands. Parents pressure, peer pressure changes a kid so much that he will never be the same for the rest of his life. I'm sure somewhere each one of us can find a striking chord to our adolescent days.


People

Will not take names here. All I'm going to say is I have a met a few interesting people and a few disgusting ones. Rather not talk about the disgusting ones and spoil my mood. Looking forward to meet more of the interesting ones and know them better. The past few days, I have also started understanding why certain people behave the way they do. Why they act differently in the presence of someone, and differently when alone. Which is their true side. There is a streak of selfishness in everyone that forces them to behave the way they do. It could be anything from not losing the job to drawing someones attention to getting credit due to someone else. Its not a fair world after all. Best to keep ears and eyes open!


Oh well...thats it..Its a beautiful Sunday and am going to laze again :)

Aah...ooh...ouch!
Yes! Had a neck sprain that lasted for a good 3 days and then it vanished! Must have been the position i slept in.
This week has been the most craziest one i have ever known. The frenzy started last Friday with a hyped discovery! It was like one of those claims made by religious groups once every decade that the world is going to come an end and we would be doomed. One day after the D-day everything is forgotten..nothing happens because it never can...what remains is the madness, the frenzy and wasted time and efforts.It makes you feel so stupid but you are helpless :(
Weekend is back. Hope this turns out to be good. Hurricane Isabel is hitting the East Coast :( wreaking havoc.

Time to sleep.

He said! She said! I listened
Jumped out of bed @ 8 a.m. to begin this beautiful morning by switching on my laptop. My parents and brother were waiting to chat with me. I have been very patient this weekend....the past 2-3 days i have been a good punchbag, listening to alll that people had to say without responding - unusual of me. Here are a few of them:

He said "Laugh at yourself. Its pathetic" about the successes of my friends and my failures. It ironical that someone's success is measured by the BIG names you work for.

She said "There is an animal inside everyone". So true! The animal inside every man is just waiting for the right opportunity to quench its thirst of S.

Current state of mind:
He is coming. I wait eagerly.
He comes. I'm excited, delighted.
He goes. I'm torn apart.

He is coming. I wait.
He comes. I'm happy.
He goes. I'm sad.

He is coming. Doesn't make a diffrence.
He comes. So what?
He goes. Life goes on for me.

Its bliss
After a late dinner, geared myself to a design review. I don't take work back home usually unless its something i love to do. Fourth round of reviews isn't very entertaining but i don't have a choice today.
Instead of reviewing here am blogging. Couldn't resist jotting down the "high" moods in my blog...its a beautiful weathr outside...cool wind is gushing in thr my windows...the lake loooks so serene and beautiful ...steady flow of vehicles and "jaane kya hoga rama re" (just love this song....it has a strange haunting music to it) playing on some music station.. isn't it a perfect setting NOT to work?

I'm almost settled in this city of blues now. Got the cable connection today. What a 5 min pep talk and smile can do this country nothing else can.

Read this quote somewhere and it hit me hard - "Life is full of choices. Make some" - so true!

This world is small..i just saw these lyrics on some website. Call it conincidence or whatever but it describes a recent incident in my life ...
I knew someone who knew you
And he introduced me to you
Your ex - girlfriend had a boyfriend
Who kissed my girlfriend
Who dated Adrian

The world keeps on getting smaller and smaller
And everything comes back full circle, full circle
Six degrees of seperation
We all know someone else
It all comes full circle

It is irony that i wrote a e-mail today to someone i never wanted to be in touch with again! Time is a great healer!

Dinneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Am feeling hungry. How i wish i could have some delicacy prepared by mom...its been ages since i enjoyed her food.
The day started of with a news i have been longing to hear for days - he is coming and am so happppppyyy..can't wait to see him. Homecoming :)
Stepping into my office this morning, my eyes rested upon a dashing orange flier placed carefully on top of my keyboard. Looked like a promo from an advertising company from a distance..however on closer look it turned to be the menu of Indian restaurant in the neighbourhood. Very thoughtful of whoever's deed it was!

Days at work have been crazy of late..have you ever heard of anyone getting exhausted after writing tons of e-mails and blabbering thr the day..welll here i'm so tired that am toying with the idea of skipping dinner.

This week's highs .....
1. The thought of reading "Da Vinci Code" after reaching home. Am sure the next few weeks am going to b occupied with always a book in my hand. H surprised me yesterday morning by dumping 6 books on my desk.
2. Listening to old hindi fav music

Electronic vs Personal
There is a reason why mankind has always insisted on personal contacts than remote electronic ones.
What a 2 year electronic communication could not achieve a 30 min personal meeting did. E-mode is good to break the ice but to build a stronger relationship a personal touch is definitely needed. What is your take on this? There was this gentleman with whom i had been in touch with on and off over the past 2.5 years. Had never seen him. A casual series of e-mails yesterday led us to plan for a lunch this afternoon. I had the faintest idea of his looks. Had heard from friends that he is a well built man. Well it was a lil unusual of me! Maybe it was the confidence that he could identify one Indian amongst so many Americans and he DID. A very soft spoken and well mannered person. Presented him with a Ruskin Bond novel.

Today was a relaxed day @work. A friend from college got in touch. It was a pleasant surprise as i hadn't given her my number. She has even made plans to visit me later this month. Sounds great!
Meanwhile my "to-do" list for the weekend is growing at a phenomenal rate. Got to get stuff that would keep my warm b4 i freeze. Afterall staying by the lake has its own advantages/disadvantages :(

Oh well..its time to goto bed. Good Night world!

Loooooooong weekend is OVER!
Am the only one here who would be glad that the long weekend is over.
Saturday wasn't bad after all. It just that the rain spoilt Sunday and Monday's outings :(

The weeknd started on a good note with a wake up call from V @ 7:00 a.m. However i didn't come out of bed until 9:00 p.m. Just pulled the blinds up and let the sunrays fill my room with freshness. The sight of the distant sea and th sunrise is a feast to teh eyes evry morning. Woner ho its going to be in winter.
Lazed in the bed till 9:00 a.m. with a novel - Angels and Demons by Dan Brown. I strongly recommend this one. I'm surprised that book could draw my attention so much as this one did. One more recommended rea from the same author is Da Vinci Code. A colleague had passed this book of 575 odd pages on Monday and i was thr with it by Saturday - definitely faster by my standards.

Thanks to V - i went to see The Sears Tower all by myself. I must admit it was a breathtaking view from up there. However i'm told that the view from John Hancock is a lot better because of its proximity to the lake. When i exited from the Sears tower the queue ran to almost quarter a mile on Jackson Blvd.

Grabbed Fries and fudge for lunch and walked to Harold Washington Library Center. Got myself enrolled and got a couple of books issued. Its a huge library. Have promised myself to dedicate a Saturday in the next few weeks for just the library.

Did some shopping on State Street - marked by a few bizarre experiences that i dare not mention!

Lighter side of life
There are always good things happening in life to balance the "not-so-good" ones.
Caught up with a friend from college. She is coming down to Chicago for the long weekend. Coaxing one more friend too to join us. Would be fun if it materialises. Lets see!

Unspoken words
Staying apart from him hurts!
External happiness, internal sadness.
Feign a smile all thr the day. Deadly solitude in the evenings kill.

Wonder IF with time -
i would stop being sensitive
don't miss loved ones
don't care to give a call 2-3 times a week as i do
wouldn't want to know if all is well
my ears wouldn't long to hear that "I miss you"

Is it being stoic, no i think its being human!

Questions such as
Why am i doing this?
For whom are we staying apart?
Is it worth the sacrifices?
What brings me to this alien land away from the place where i love to be?

keep crossing my mind everyday. I know its all circumstantial and just a phase of life.

What scares me is i don't want this phase to become my LIFE. I don't want years to pass by saying "This time too shall pass". I know time does pass but it changes the person you are!

Bullets-Brains, Fury-Fright, Havoc - Helpnessness

40 days is a long time for not updating my blog. Am back at U.S and i find time to write ! Strange as it may sound but can't squeeze in 10 mins during my busy schedule @ Bangalore to post a few lines. So here i go a after a brief hiatus!
The 1 month that i was gone to India gave me mixed experiences.

Mad Days
Happiness off the job has a lot to do with happiness on the job n vice versa. You are on the edge when off-the-job and on-the-job is over demanding. 7a.m.-10p.m. mad days for the past 1 week is taking a toll physically n emotionally.
Weekend despite the crazy mundane work has its highs.
Reading H.B.R after a long day is soothing to the grey cells. The article on "how top managers are a complete misfit in their positions" is well written.

Imagine........
1. Bedroom to face west so that sunlight doesn't creek in thr the windows at 6 a.m. onto my face.
2. A hot cup of Cappuccino with Vanilla flavored creme served at bed every morning.
3. The day to start at 10 a.m. and end at 5 p.m.
4. A perfect set of people to work with, not morons!
5. Steaming delicious lunch served at office
6. Work place that is just a 10 min walk from home.
7. Evenings spent on a hammock with a cup of tea and a book.

Knock knock ...wake up from the utopian world and back to wok.....i come crashing down :(
Irony is, there is nothing called perfection and satisfaction

Smile
Good work puts a smile on my face. You may think i have gone nuts! But the fact is that "feel-good" factor at work has a lot to do with the way i feel at home. A day of good work keeps the mind @ home :) Wonder why setbacks are so upsetting and ican't laugh away at the troubles?
Today I smile, he smiles, they smile back. Feel a lot better this way.

Smile...UB40
I love it when you smile
When you're with me honey
It happens all the while
How it kills me when you cry
And you know my heart
That's no word of a lie

Learning how to smile
Life just keeps on gettin' weirder for us every day

You say there is no perfect place, I say I know this is true
We are just learning how to smile
That's not easy to do
We both live for the day
When we can run away

Oh baby we can leave and run away
Yes we can leave this place and run away
We can leave it all behind like we do every time
Yes we both live for the day
When we can leave and just go runnin' away

Midday break
A midday break can do wonders. My mood has changed from irritant to a jubilant one. The inputs are still the same, no variants whatsoever! However the output has undergone a dramatic change! Thanks to my earlier post, the molten lava inside me just ebbed quietly.
Am all charged up to do the things i would love to and here they are:
1. Go on one of those quiet long evening walks we used to in the initial days of our marriage.
2. Stay up late with the Rolls Royce book.
3. Listen to 91 FM.
4. Experiment some new dish @ home and not worry about the comments.
5. Take socialising out of mind and not bother to call up people and adorn one of those artifical lip stretches (smile, i meant)
6. Dine in at a quiet place, away from the traffic mania of the city.

Professional Paradox
Current mood : Irritant.
A few classical paradoxical statements made to me in the past 4 years.

"You are doing well. Your work is appreciated. "
Result : No promotion.

"You would have to travel to jhumrithaliya within the next 2 weeks. Do u mind?" I reply "No" consistently and patiently for the past 3 years. Stay happy with the virtual travels to exotic locations (after all not everyone gets such a chance, do they?)
Result : Gain the credential of being the only 1 of 50 to be still with the organisation and not travel.

"I would like your comments or suggestion on what can be done to improvise the processes"
I would be too glad to do so.
Result: Fool for having done so and let a asshole take the credit.

Lesson:
Assholes are there everywhere and so is politics. So why not experience politics at a different place with a different set of f**ers.

Recognition, Awards, Promotion - does it make a difference?
It makes a difference when you have worked hard to earn it. It has a lot of meaning when it comes at the right time.
Its one's way of telling aloud "You are GOOD".
Awards and promotion become a mockery when you get one after ages of hard work!
And when you get it, you start wondering "when did i last get one?"

Weekend of mixed feelings
The feeling was good to see mom and Pravin after a long time. They could partially fill in the emptiness of Dad. Yes, it feels bad when you see your dad for a day in 2 years. Life moves on and so do we.
Mom had made yummy food that couldn't stop appreciating it. Can feel the bridge between Vivek and mom slowly closing down.
The journey back to Bangalore from trichy on the dirty last seats of a local bus with its bumpy rides will never be forgotten. Empathy with Indians is the last thing one can expect. "I will lay back on my seat , i don' care whether you goto hell" is the attitude :)

"Harry Potter and the order of Phoenix" is making waves in the publishing industry. Since the stroke of midnight on 21st June, the yellow or blue wrapper book can be found in ones hands sans age barrier. However people who have managed to read the 846 page book claim that it is not all that interesting as its predecessors.

Quote of the day : Those who know don't speak.

The fun is over!

:( 75 day vacation has ended. Today is my 3rd day at work and doesn't feel great to get back to work! Human mind after all - never satisfied with the present. Not exactly swamped with work but some junk keeps my tiny brain churning thr the day.
I must admit now that the vacation did a lot of good to me and it was fabulous. Had i been running a company i would promote the concept of a 2 month sabbatical once every 5 years. I have heard Intel does that!
The lag this time stretched a bit too far. The 20 odd hour flight from Boston to Bangalore was uneventful. However, we were happy for we travelled together. Dad and Pravin were there to receive us at that odd hour. Felt good for your family is always tehre when you need them! And some friends too! The harsh relaity of having stepped foot in India hit us when we had to get our baggage thr the customs. For them - Asking for money is a ritual, people traveling into the country pluck money from the lush green prospering lands of the west. They are the only ones who toil hard to earn their money, ofcourse yes it takes a lot of energy to ask for more as $50 is too humiliating, isn't it?
Sleep induced by pills continues...Stark differences between the two worlds is prominent sometimes :( The to-do lists are already growing.

Its past 2:00 p.m. so past lunchtime. My tummy is not grumbling yet. So here i go with one more post for the day :)
Harry Potter casts a spell tomorrow at midnight with the release of his new book - Harry Potter and the order of Phoenix - 5th book in the HP series. Hogwarts fans watch out. What a fabulous way to begin the summer with - June 21st is the first day of summer.

Now rewind to the post World War II and pre cold war era. Were you interested in History in school? I was...it was one of my favourite subjects after Maths. I hated science ..biology to be precise. Does the name"Rosenbergs" ring a bell? Rosenbergs execution on the Electric chair at Sing Sing is a gruesome yet famous incident. It happened on June the 19th , 1953. Today marks its 50th anniversary. Julius and Ethel Rosenberg were charged of espionage, deceit and betrayal. They apparently shared the documents which when decoded constitued the Manhatten Project ( don't ask me what this project was, if you have gotten this far I assume you should know it). Source : Rosenbergs Execution. Today their 2 surviving sons commemorate this day for their deceased innocent parents.

Interested in reading or have difficulty in finding a book or looking for reviews on a book, then chk out these 2 sites:
1. Book community
2.Oprah's book club Her book ratings have supposedly churned out the best sellers ever. She has relaunched her book club after a 2 year hiatus now.

Scratch your heads!
Hola! Coma estos? Bien. Si.Hablo un puco de espanol.
Habla espanol ? Mucho Gracias.
Adios. Hasta manana.

This translates to -
Hello. How are you doing? Am fine. Yes. I speak a lil Spanish. Do you? Thanks a lot for visiting my site. Good bye. See you tomorrow.

Age & Beauty
This post is very much unlike me. I'm not a beauty or fitness freak by nature - not someone who spends hundreds on cosmetics, spa visits or fashion accessories. But knowledge about everything is not a dangerous thing. My encounter with women has been increasing. With younger women, silly nothings like dresses, cosmetics take up 90% of the conversation. So knowing about all this is coming handy after all.
In business too, there is no second chance to make a first impression. More often than not, its physical appearance that draws attention. Not my way of climbing the ladder but figuring out that at times you got to be impressively dressed ( i said impressively not obscenely !) for your intellectual side to get noticed.
Oh anyways i gave the title "age and beauty" to this post, because i feel beauty increases with age. What's your opinion? I have seen this with my mom, my older aunt. They looked like hippies in their 20's and now they look just gorgeous. Its 8:30 p.m. now and i just logged on to browse aimlessly. One of the AOL popup ads appealed to me - the transformation of Sarah Jessica Parker. Believe me, she is stunning now. And if you saw her 1990 picture you wouldn't believe it is her! One other transformation that is worth mentioning is that of Jennifer Aniston. She is soooooooooooooo beautiful in a 1997 file photo. Check out the pics @ www.instyle.com
Eleanor roosevelt rightly said "Beautiful young people are accidents of nature. But beautiful old people are works of art."

Quiet weekend
Oh well, it was a quiet weekend. Thanks to the tonsilitis infection.
Boston gave up the soggy gray overcoat it darned thr the chilly winter and cloud-covered spring. This Sunday, for a welcoming change, had temperatures soaring. The bay-state people were obviously happy and it was evident by the numerous roller-bladers, skaters, joggers, sailing boats across the Charles river.
Been reading a lot since morning. There are periods of time when i do read a lot of stuff on varied subjects and then there are extended periods of lull too.
Liked the few following lines quoted by ordinary people:

Watching the Discovery Channel does not make you part of an intellectual élite.
Personally I'm happy as long as I'm not working with idiots and assholes. An asshole, no matter how well qualified on paper, is never the best person for the job

Rolling Stones -

You Can't Always Get What You Want

I saw her today at the reception
A glass of wine in her hand
I knew she was gonna meet her connection
At her feet was a footloose man
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes well you might find
You get what you need
And I went down to the demonstration
To get my fair share of abuse
Singing, "We're gonna vent our frustration
If we don't we're gonna blow a 50-amp fuse"
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes well you just might find
You get what you need
I went down to the Chelsea drugstore
To get your prescription filled
I was standing in line with Mr. Jimmy
And man, did he look pretty ill
We decided that we would have a soda
My favorite flavor, cherry red
I sung my song to Mr. Jimmy
Yeah, and he said one word to me, and that was "dead"
I said to him
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes you just might find
You get what you need
You get what you need--yeah, oh baby
I saw her today at the reception
In her glass was a bleeding man
She was practiced at the art of deception
Well I could tell by her blood-stained hands
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes you just might find
You just might find
You get what you need
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes you just might find
You just might find
You get what you need


Did you know that down-sizing can also be called as 'right-sizing'? Though you are cutting down the task-force, you have identified that as the right number of people for the job to get done. Perception after all, isn't it?

Today's timepass
http://www.negotiationskills.com/articleB2.html

Rains and common cold go together
This small song has been playing in my mind since morning

Rain rain go away
Come again Columbus Day

If you ask any New England resident to "make a wish", he/she would say "stop this rain and bring me sun". Yes, it is yet another wet weekend.
Rains in spring are definitely not welcomed. They bring a whole list of add-ons with them like swarms of mosquitoes, dull moods, common cold, headaches and spoilt weekend plans. Am down with this cold for the past couple of days and I hate it when I get it. My current mood is irritant because of the running nose and heavy head. Don't even feel like seeing "Friends" today while he is sitting on the couch and enjoying Joey's antics.

Orlando - City of fun, food and fashion
This city of theme parks had much more to offer than we had ever imagined.
The 4-day trip to this Florida city was full of roller-coaster fun along with the heat and sweat of a tropical climate.
Here i reminisce the memorable trip day by day.

Day 1 @ Sea World
The airlines that fly within America are no good. No food offered. Its a pathetic service. No wonder the airlines are queuing up for bankruptcy. The first thought that came to our minds - we must take these guys for a ride on Sahara and they would remember us for the rest of their lives.
Reached Orlando at 3:00 in the afternoon. Dumping our bags at the hotel, we set out figuring what to do that night. Mentally prepared to goto Sea World, we weren't sure if 5 hours would be enough for an evening with the sea beasts. "Public transport" was something that the biggy @ hotel front desk had never heard of. There are sign boards for I-Ride stops all over the town. So i wonder whether he flew inside the town :) Never mind we figured it out and were waiting for those green and red buses to pass by. One red bus did pass by but didn't stop - as always. So we thought perhaps this side of the road (south bound) wasn't all that lucky and we crossed over to the other side ( we figured out later during the night that where we had stood first was right ). Now standing on North bound stops, a green bus stopped. We thanked our stars not knowing what was in store. As we were mounting, the driver said Sea World is just a 5 min walk, so we set out on one of our Gandhian walks. That 5 min walk became a never ending 30 min walk draining our energy. No water, no food thr the day. Seeing "Sea World" at a distance, Vivek ruled out that we would ever make it alive there. Finally followed the service entrance to the main gate - an adventurous way of reaching an adventure park. Lunched at the Park at 5:00 p.m.

However, what we experienced inside made us forget the hunger and tiredness of the day.

Shamu, the killer whale, is a show by itself. Those 35 minutes action packed show in the indoor stadium to the 500 odd audience is worth experiencing. Such a huge creature coming out of its restricted area to the front bay casually , splashing water soaking the audience sitting between 1-14 steps, going promptly back to Bryan to get its quota of fish after every round of its antics is something i can't describe in words here. It was incredible!

Kraken - the 4 minute roller coaster ride at Sea World left me speechless - not because i was awed but because i was so terrified after the flight that i couldn't get myself in shape. didn't dare to do any more rides that evening. My lil advice for those wishing a Kraken ride in the future - DON'T sit in one of those corner or front seats.
Some of the other interesting attractions @ Sea World were:
Pufferfishes - a japanese delicacy that is highly posionous. Called puffer because its body bloats when it cosumes food and water
Barracudas - a dangerous prey with a unique single lined body structure that one cannot see it until its very close
Sharks - stay away :)
Dolphins - a very likeable smart creature unlike its deadly sibling killer whales
Manatees- these obese species on its way to extinction didn't impress me much

Day 2 @ Universal Studios
Day 2 took off to a lazy start. After a good nights sleep, we set out around 9 to Universal Studios. The walk across the bridge that lead to Universal turned out to be rather tiring. Maybe Orlandonian's ( my way of addressing residents of Orlando) are so used to walking that a few miles doesn't count much. Universal studios comprises of "Universal studios", "Islands of Adventure" and "City walk".
Confused whether to take the 1 day 2 park ticket or the 1 day 1 park tickets we settled in for a 1 day 1 park ticket to the Universla Studios. As Islands of Adventure was primarily rides, we weren't too keen. And we are glad we went to Universal.
The rides that i ENJOYED were :

Twister : A real exprience of what a F-5 tornado could do to a neighbourhood. Phew..it came and it went and there was nothing left. Amazing experience.
My rating : 5

Earthquake : Another natural disaster. We are put into a train, that rode to a station and earth rocks. Earth rocks, we rock, water gushes out form broken pipelines, buildings collpase like a deck of cards, gasoline fumes, trees fell..oh yea you get to hear the police sirens too - welcome to HELL. Amazing job to create an earthquake shot on screen.
My rating : 4

Graveyard Revue : Live rock band of Comical ghosts appearing at their will in funny costumes that didn't scare even the children :)
My rating :2

Jaws: Boat Ride. "ORCA" - the boat in Jaws movie on display during the ride. Shark attacking in midwaters, the captain shooting, gasoline fumes, shark attacking again when least expected, the cpatain getting his target right this time. It was fun and scary too. I know it was just a model shark but when such a big bleeding object appears all of a sudden when you leats expect it can be scary :(
My rating :4

Men in Black : I don't want to write about it. The loooooooooooooong queues were miserable. Vivek scored more than me in that stupid video game thing where you have to shoot at the aliens. It definitely wasn't worth the wait.
My rating :1 ( not because i scored less)

Back to the future : This was my personal favourite. The roller coaster ride in the car that takes you through the past is nerve racking. Dinosaurs, erupting volcanoes, flying by white house , just when i thought i had risen from the volcanic lava did i find myself falling again from a waterfall - huh, this was the best of all. Its a roller coaster ride with a screen in front of you perhaps with such fierce violent scenes and colors that make it further dreadful.

Terminator 2 - 3D - Didn't know what to expect when i went in. As a kid i remember watching the movie kuttichattan, wherein they give you this tiny plastic black colored glass before you enter the cinema hall. I could never comprehend then which where the 3-D scenes and which weren't. So if you are thinking what am thinking, then you would be in for a big surprise when you see Terminator on 3-D. Robot models rising from all the corners of the auditorium followed by the 3-D images is something one shouldn't miss. John firing and the artillery pieces seem as they are gonna hit your eyes any moment, the bad robots punch makes you touch your nose (just to chk if its in shape). Believe me so many times during that 20 min show , i actually lifted my hand to see if my face was ok and there wa snothing in front of it - you gotta see it to believe it.

My rating :5
Well that was Day 2 for us. The day ended with a pepperoni touch :( For those of you who don't know, pepperoni is beef or pork unlike i had imagined it to be :(

Day 3- Pointe Orlando
Broke all my records by sleeping continously for 12 hours. Woke up at 11 in the morning.
After a stale pizza brunch and a quick shower, sat wondering what to do. Not sure of the destination, set out to take a ride on the I-Ride. After a good 20 minute wait, the ever-green i-ride turned up. I wasn't sure where i was going. The big mickey mouse was tempting at Pointe Orlando. So i got down with 2 other ladies.
Its a BIG DEAL after all to dismount a us at Orlando. They have got this weird concept of pulling a string by the seat-side to request a stop. You miss it and you are dead.

There i was in front of Pointe Orlando - a place that is so-so for shopping and good for taking pics.
FAO was the place to be for kids. Toys, Barbies, games, XBOX - name it and it was there. Here i explored the mysetery of finding the denim size that would fit my waists at "the house of denims". "Express" was very much affordable in this part of the country.
However, they didn't have a size that fit me :( At the "sound stage" was an amazing 24-karat gold plaated record of the jimi hendrix tracks. Costed a good $250 - wish one day Vivek will be able to get it. Swarovski and Lladro(recommened by Dr. Phil, the psychologist) porcelain gifts just made me dumbstruck. Truly amazing pieces that i have never seen before.

With a refreshing "Vanilla Latte" from starbucks i started walking north following the I-Ride and Lynx trail -- didn't want to lose my way in this city.
I know i know there is lil chance for one to lose way - for its the straight intl drive that runs all thr the city.

Enroute Hard Rock Vault, i stopped at these places for taking pics:
1. Magic world
2.Race Rock
3.Pirates cove
4.Castle Hotel

And finally at the hard rock vault. Am sure Vivek would have loved it.
Captured images of the carvings on the pavement that reminisced important persons and events.
Tired by the 2 mile walk along the Intl drive i settled in for a chocolate muffin at the Mercedo.
Took the I-rdie south back to the hotel :)

Day 4 - Ripley's believe it or not
You got to see the following to BELIEVE it
the ball rolling upwards in a Billiards table,
black hole,
walk over the birdge,
the silver-ghost Rolls royce made of matchsticks
Believe it or not!

Sometimes i wonder if monsoons follow our trail or we follow monsoon's path. Rains reach before we reach - be it Sri Lanka or Orlando. Well well it was fun anyways. Worth the hundreds of dollars spent on tickets :) No regrets. You live once and you get to see these places just once in your life. So enjoy it.

My favorite beverage - Tea
There is an old chinese saying that goes this way - "Kissing is like drinking tea through a tea-strainer; you’re always thirsty afterwards."How true - I'm more biased towards Tea than coffee. The first question i ask in the morning is this - "will you have tea or coffee?" Silently hoping that he answers "tea" and am all excited to sip my first and only cup for the day. What a great way to start a day!
Ofcourse i must admit that my question last week was "will you have coffee or tea"? I got slightly biased to the French Vanilla flavor of Cappuccino. It bowled me over. Introduced to Cappuccino and Espresso about 4 years back by Vivek at Coffee Day, I love every bit of it. It is definitely "black as devil, hot as hell, pure as an angel and sweet as love".
William Gladstone said "If you are cold, tea will warm you; if you are too heated; it will cool you; if you are depressed, it will cheer you; if you are exhausted, it will calm you. - William Gladstone". So go ahead have a cup of tea or cappuccino now :)

The story - the good , the bad and the ugly version
Ever been in a situation where one friend bitches about the other who he/she has spent considerable time with. And wouldn't you be amazed if they have been living together under the same roof for a good amount of time. Don't be surprised if you find them pally-pally hanging out together the very next day after the bad-mouthing incident. For you had just heard one version of the story, you don't know what the other version is and the third version - THE REAL story. Relationships can be kept intact without any tinge of bitterness if you live at a distance. The distance does the magic. Living in the vicinity or under the same roof breeds contempt.
Thinking mood :"

Detached in a Connected World
Fifteen years down memory lane: Communication between old parents and grown up employed kids was mainly through letters, trunck calls or STD calls. Kids would come down for a week or two every year to stay at their family home. A nice memorable reunion. Then parents would go down to celebrate important festivals like Diwali, Sankranti with their kids.
Memories from my past: I was in class 3 studying at my granny's. Every Sunday, the only holiday of the week, i remember writing a letter to my parents in whatever limited English i knew. Wouldn't address mom, dad and Pravin together. Had this peculiar habit of writing a separate paragraph for each one of them followed by a customised signature. Sounds funny today but they, in those days, longed to receive my weekly letter. And me too from them. Dad always wrote in english and i could read his paragraph. But mom wrote in Tamil and i would ask my granny to read it out for me, it had a personal touch to it. My parents would come down to Madurai to celebrate Diwali with their parents and that united me with them.

A decade ago: E-mails had started slowly replacing inland/airmail letters. But they were still limited to 1/2 e-mail per day as those were the days when e-mails were charged ( i think rs. 3 per e-mail at my college). But still the yearly reunion was very much in vogue. One month of dedicated time with kids and parents when nothing else took priority.

Five years ago: Chat became the order of communication.
Now: Age of webcam. See them while you chat.

People think you are in the stone age if you don't "yahoo" with your parents.
It would have been a good 5 years since i wrote a letter to my parents. E-mail them everyday - helps us stay connected but those sweet-little nothings are no longer my e-mail content. If i can find an appropriate subject for my mail i wriite to them, else i don't. My eyes no longer keep waiting for the 10 o clock postman to come, just to check if there is an envelope addressed to me.
Though very much connected, it is a detached life. No e-mail, no chat, no telephone call, no webcam can ever replace the physical closeness of a human. Those 50 paise inland letters had more warmth than today's monotonous e-mails. E-mails have killed the power of expression. No doubt they keep you connected all the time, thanks to that!
As technology advances, the quality time you spend with your beloved ones decreases. So busy are we with our own lives that there is little room left for those cherished family reunions. Living thousands of miles away, i have to be contented if i can see my dad/mom atleast for 1 day in a year. Maybe this explains me the reason why people in U.S and elsewhere have fabricated holidays such as Father's day and Mother's day. A reason to be with your close ones - makes sense to me.

In Search of Perfection
I want --
Perfect parents, perfect partner, perfect education, perfect job, perfect health - the search of finding everything "perfect" continues all our life. In my constant drive to attain that "perfect big thing", i miss the pleasures small things life offers. Strving for Perfection can turn out to be disastrous for a relationship. "Perfection" is relative. It all about setting standards and expecting all the people around you , all the things that happen to you meet those standards. What might be a perfect weekend for me might not be for my partner.
Perfectionsists lose their sleep worrying about the mistakes committed in some past projects, dates of travel, uncertainty of the future. Too many "what if's" occupy their mind all the time. "What if this happened, what if that happened, what would i do". This is nothing but an attempt to control and master the environment around us which is impossible. Planning is one thing but ensuring everything happens according to the plan is another.
Brought up to be a good child, a perfect child who is quiet, obedient all the time. Am learning to let go of inhibitions and act ad hoc. Sometime things done without planning can bring a lot of joy which a perfect plan might not. So much of time and energy is spent on achieving that perfection, that there is none left to enjoy it ultimately.
The earlier the realisation dawns up on me, the better it is. Someone said it well: Be human: make a mistake! Mistakes are opportunities in disguise.
So make a mistake :)

Damp Weekend - Weekend spoilt all our plans of going to Boston. So another weekend spent within 4 walls, in front of a TV munching junk food. Got so suffocated by evening that we went for a long walk in the cold weather. Our TV, no doubt needs a rest badly.
Lesson : Don't plan for weekends for weather in the East coast doesn't seem to cooperate.

Our journey
This day, last year, we got engaged. A big day of our lives. Commemortaing this occassion, i've just put together a collection of quotes that says our story
It all started with this realisation and experience....
Lots of people will want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.

When you realize
You want to spend
The rest of your life with somebody,
You want the rest of your life
To start as soon as possible. When Harry Met Sally (Movie) --Sally's wish, my wish--

Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear.
Love is hard work; and hard work sometimes hurts!

It hurt and i wanted to part but he taught me ...

Never say goodbye if you still want to try.
Never give up if you still feel you can go on.
Never say you do not love a person anymore if you cannot let go.

Love: a temporary insanity, curable by marriage... my insanity cured on June 21st ,2002

Love has its own time, its own season, and its own reasons from coming and going. You cannot bribe it or coerce it or reason it into staying. You can only embrace it when it arrives and give it away when it comes to you.
--Kent Nerburn

Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish it's source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings.

I don't want mine to die. I want it to be a miracle.
Love at first sight is easy to understand; it's when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle.
--Sam Levenson

Art of making friends for a lifetime

Vivek once said to me "The only people you can choose in this lifetime are friends. So make as many as you can and cherish it. Relatives are given by HIM and you got to accept them whether you like it or not." How true. It takes time and effort to make and retain friends. I see it with the few people i know.

Am a highly sensitive person with a caution to everything in life. The red alert antenna in my brain starts blinking at the drop of a hat. Am opening up more now, have started talking freely to people. Its definitely going to take sometime. Unwinding 23 years of lifestyle is not all that easy. Have been brought up this way by my family and circumstances.

Pravin and I are stark opposites, he never had to go through what i had to as a kid. He never had to stay at a relative's place during schooling. I was barely 7 years old when i studied at my granny's. No doubt they are good people. But small incidents can leave a permanent scar in a kids mind. Abusing the kids parents, talking about their financial status and asking the helpless kid why didn't your dad tell me before he left that we got to pay for your tuition this month, makes one more reserved. Having grown in such environments i started being so careful about money, that i couldn't kick the habit when i started living with my own parents. Never asked them to buy me anything, never asked them for a help. Grew up with a feeling that it is obligation to ask parents for help. But i did get the courage to ask for something big in life, fought for it and got it.
Till this day, i don't ask them if they can help me out in anyway, if they understand my needs and offer i have learnt not to say a no.
Talking to strangers, especially boys, was considered a stigma. Branded a flirt because i said "hi" to one of my cousin's friendds at home :(

Its a commom perception that people from down south in India let money rule their lives. Maybe its true, maybe its not. In my case it didn't have anything to do with my origin, its just what i was subjected to. If one had to think twice before asking for a 100 page notebook that costed Rs.5 back in 1993, then its not all that easy to change it.
It definitely hurts a lot when my own call me a miser.

Am glad am opening up. I want to be a good friend and help my friends in whatever way i can. That will help me come out of the very small world i have lived all these years.

Interpreting Dreams

All of us get dreams when we sleep. Some of us remember when we wake up, some of us don't.
The reason i say "we get dreams" is because it is not a volunatry action initiated by us. Dreams are patterns of images that we see subconsicously in our sleep. Our brains continue to churn out images while the body is resting. I have been told that a sound sleep is devoid of dreams. Dreaming is a somatic process, nothing supernatural about it. I have observed a specific pattern in my dreams. I remember them only if they have been bad and disturbing. Over the past 2 weeks, dreams of murders, suicide, extra-marital affairs, divorces have haunted me. I wake up with heavy head on such mornings. Two years back, when i was going through a difficult phase of life, i used to get bad dreams. They communicate the state of mind, body and soul. Restlessless, anxiety, fear of change are expressed through dreams by different symbols.

Content of my dreams, as everyone else's, remain obscure, absurd and incomprehensible when I wake up. Wondering what such dreams meant and if i could interpret them i started looking for articles on the Internet. I realise that in reality, they are susbtitues of our own thought processes, with a hidden meaning. I have started viewing the hazy negative images in my dreams as pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. The pieces put together gives
me a vivid picture of my subdued thought process or perhaps whats in store for future. Most dreams concern primarily with future. However interpreting them analogously will certainly lay to rest some of the fears of the inner mind. For example, i woke up this morning narrating my dream to Vivek. I had seen a 20-something committing suicide followed by 3 murders. "Dreams on Death" signify a major change in one's life. I interpret "suicide" characteristic of a change that is to be forced on me, for which i might have to be prepared.

Sigmund Freud, in his work "Interpretation of Dreams", encourages one not to suppress his ideas even if they are irrelevant.
In his words, "Undesired ideas are changed into desired ones".
I can correlate it with my experience. One afternoon, I suppressed some thoughts that i perceived as non-sensical. I dreamt that very night of images concerned with the same subject, not understanding the relevance the next morning when i woke up. Now i know why!

Lesson : Do not constraint your thoughts. They are bound to surface in dreams sooner than later.

uhhh....i better stop now..else i can go on for sometime on this topic.

Anger
Do u learn from the lessons that life teaches you, the events around you, movies that you watched on a Friday night or from what your friends have gone through? Or are you the kind who likes to get your fingers burnt and not learn from others mistakes? Or are you the kind who gets fingers burnt and still doesn't learn? I fall under the second category. Vivek tells me "Life is not a technology to be learnt and grapsed overnight from a book or a website" Observe, learn and improve.
In the movie "Anger Management", Jack Nicholson talks of two types of anger - explosive and implosive. Friday night, 2 hour movie, $9 spent yet learnt nothing. Two days later he gives me a suggestion for something and tears start rolling down my cheeks. ( I know i know girls are good at crying. And am the best of all at that. I still recollect dad making fun of me everytime i have cried. He used to say, "stop crying baby, i will get you a crying fruit" and i would wonder what fruit was that :) )
Worried if he had something wrong, Vivek asks me what happened. In my characteristic careless tone, I say " I don't know, Forget it". Five words that have no meaning and no solution. After a lot of effort from him, i tell him the reason - relating the suggestion to an incident that happened 3 months back. Though i claim that i have long forgotten it, feign indifference to the event as though it didn't matter to me anymore, IT DID. But i was not willing to accept. This is "implosive" anger. There's more to it than it appears. Had i shouted back at the person who hurt me, i wouldn't have been crying today. Implosive Anger takes different forms at different stages of life when you are least expecting it. So if you are one of those kinds then follwo this principle - "Shouting is a lot better than keeping quiet" It will make you a happy, cheerful, come-what-may attitude person.

Inner Fears
Separation. Uncertainty. Confusion. Frustration. Repeated Failures.
These states have not made me immune. They have not made me strong. They enhance the inner fears that i live with. Almost certainly they show in my face and voice without my realisation.
I am struggling to come out of it - low on confidence today.
Developing application don't make me happy anymore. Advance in IT doesn't intrigue me. Me, me, me - enough of it. I don't want to bother about myself so much that it causes me disappointment, unhappiness. Am i going into the Ayn Rand era - no doubt in a confused state of mind. i know for sure i don't enjoy what i do. I know "Passion pushes one forward. So do what you know and love."

Our system has to change. Why is it that Indian Parents want their kids to become a MBA, doctor, software engineer, engineer - in that order? Why not a civil service worker, a librarian or an administrator? Why is it that their dreams are forced upon kids? I fully agree that am an independent person and maybe succeessful for many because:
1. Am an employee of a "TATA" company - the stigma attaced to TATA BIRLA is still prevalent in India.
2. As a consequence of 1, I get a decent salary at the end of every month to sustain myself.
3. Its a job in the most successful and talked about industry - the money minting software industry.

After a 4 year stint, i am NOT happy. I exist and do the work, rather create work so that i ensure i have a job. "Insecure" feeling creeps in any software engineer's mind who has been out of work for more than 2 weeks. The devil's workshop churns out numerous questions like this :

Am i replaceable?
Am i a overhead to the company?
Will i get laidoff?
Have i lost my importance?

The constant need to prove oneself tires me in the long run. I grew up with a dream of becoming either joining the Indian Foreign Service. I wanted to become a diplomat because of my passion for traveling to different countries. U.S was one country that i never wanted to travel to. Canada was one that i always wanted to visit. The Indian civil service system scared my parents and they didn't want me to join.

I don't blame them because their dream is to see their kids settled in life. Not to struggle for a living. They have gone through the hardships in life, going to school with wet clothes because they had only one pair of clothes. Got beaten up for coming naked because there was nothing to wear but the passion to study draw them to school. Am very lucky for having everything. HUMANs can never be satisfied, you have it all, yet you want more.

Quiet Sunday
Spent a good portion of the day in darkness and silence. But it felt good for i was reading "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland".
Yes very unusual for a 25 year old to read fairy tales.

Movie of the day - Pretty Woman
Julia Roberts looks stunning in some of the scenes. She looks gorgeous in the scarlet dress in the opera scene.
When someone speaks low of you, you think you are worth only that.
Bad things are easier to believe.
You've got a lot of ptential. Don't let anybody tell you anything different.
Did you know that "strawberry brings out the flavor in champagne? :)
Ends on a nice note. Welcome to Hollyowod - this is the land of dreams. Some dreams come true, some dont. But keep on dreaming.

An early satisfying weekend
This week, weekend started Friday and ended Saturday. He starts working long hours from today until Thursday.
Books books and more books
Authorities at Immigration while we head back to India are gonna go crazy. People shop for clothes, electronics, chocolates and all that jazz. But both of us are very happy for what we did - something that will always remain our passion - buying books. One hard luggage is filled with about 25 odd books.
We bought a whopping 13 books in 2 days. What i like most about him is that he always acts on his first instinct. Last afternoon, at "Discovery channel" (@Solomon Pond Mall, Marlborough), I was contemplating whether to buy the $15 book titled "The century" or not. The minute i showed him the book, he was impressed and decided to buy. The book is a rare compilation of photographs from every year of the last cnetury (1899-2001). The last photograph shows an officer informing George W. Bush at a primary school about the September 11th attacks. I cannot recollect a single book that i have half-finished the day i bought it. But this one is almost done.
While driving back from Malborough, i causally mentioned to him about the library sale at the Framngham Public Library today where books are sold for either $1 or $2. His immediate reaction was lets go! A small room packed with about thousand novels, management books, travel guides etc. We were impressed. We chose about 7 books. The thought of carrying it all back home made us drop 3 and finally settled for 4 books. He presents them at the counter. The lady says "How about a quarter?". He is perplexed and shoots an inquiring glance at me. I didn't understand either. So i ask her "Is a quarter all that you are asking for this?". She says "Yes". We were speechless.
All set to exit the library we look at an adjoining room, which was about 10 times as big as the one we just walked out of. Name a book and it was there. There was nothing stopping us. It just made our day. All hardcover books. Gives us a good reason to stay back in this country.
I could see the flash in his eyes as they raced up and down the kids section flooded with books. He had read all of them but i hadn't. So i picked up bools like Alice in wonderland, A compilation of Fairy tales and Frankenstein. The satisfaction of having made it today is something materialistic things will never give us. We are glad we did it.

X2
Saw X2 last Tuesday. I can't quite understand why we went for that movie. The box-office hit put me to sleep. The war between mutants and humans, their magical inborn skills reminded me morre of those video games Pravin played as a kid. Crazy movies are made because crazy people like us watch them!

Random thoughts
1. You are at someone's place for lunch. The hosts get a call, talk in native language presumin you can't understand the language. The hosts tell you, from whom the call was. You discover 30 minutes later from some X that the call was actually from someone else. Have you ever gone through what we did? Does it make you feel like a fool? I don't think it should, though it did to me. Why give it a damn?

2. Lessons of life - Don't go out of your way to help someone. My dad has suffered from this all his life but he still continues to help people unconditionally. Vivek does the same too. Yet another similarity but definitely not a Taurean trait. But when someone doesn't even have the courtesy to tell him, it hurts me. I got to keep away from his official affairs is what am learning.