Names and nicknames

The decision "to nickname or not to nickname" is certainly not something I would lose my sleep over. Yet, I decided to give it some serious thought when a wise, worldly and well-informed acquaintance of ours asked with concern, "Aren't you going to have a nickname for Lil' General?" That was the most natural thing to do, according to him. A name that is personal, known only to family and something creates a special bonding. Hypothetically, when LG is 50 and I'm nearing my 80s (I know, high hopes to live on until then), I wonder how calling him "chotu" would look like. Make him feel younger?

As such, choosing a name for the baby is not straightforward and time bound in India, unlike in the U.S. If you are like one of us who hadn't decided on one name for a girl and one for a boy, then the choices are limitless, recommendations from people abound who couldn't fulfill their own wishes and creativity at its best. And, ofcourse the knowledge of soaps on STAR TV. The luxury of time to select a name and change and then change your mind again is exhausting; all this while staying within the boundaries of what letter of the alphabet the name should start with. The starting letter in some communities is calculated by which star was visiting whom in the planetary charts and where the moon was resting. send your head in a tizzy.

We emerged successful in this tedious exercise of zeroing in on a name on the 10th day after Lil' General was born. To subject ourselves to a similar one for selecting a nickname is beyond me. There is total freedom of expression. Call LG what you like until he is old enough to object to it. For now, it is LG, SSACBKG, pannu, buschkundi, willy wonka donka etc etc

What's it like to live in Pune?

We've lived in Pune for over two years now; not decided to make it our home, at least not yet. I don't love it; I don't hate it. There's something about the place that I can't quite point my finger to that makes me oscillate between this love-hate thing.

Indian cities that way are quite different from the American ones, never been to Europe so I don't know if they are stereotypical like their American counterparts. Every Indian town and city is diverse from the rest - in its culture, its people, language, cuisine, tolerance level for people from other states, festivals, real estate, mannerisms and communities. Every city will not have a Reliance Fresh or Spencer's, though that's changing now.

I was town-bred for the most part of my childhood. The first metro I lived in was Bangalore and that became my benchmark for a city lifestyle. The move to Pune was difficult; assimilation of the local culture tougher than expected. It took us a while to understand people are not yelling at you when they open their mouths; that's the normal way of talking here and they are polite all the same.

Given a choice to move back to Bangalore, I would have said "yes" without thinking a year back. Now, I realise why it's so much fun to live in Pune. Life is a celebration here and that's one of the reasons I love it. From Dahi Handi for Krishna Jayanthi to the Ganesh Mandals during Ganesh Chaturthi to Pandals for Durga Pooja, it's fun all the way. I can't remember once when we played Holi in Bangalore. Here, I can't keep track of the no. of people turning out for Holi for Diwali. It's not "I"; it's "We" here.

You'll know you are in Pune when ----

- you see young women cruising on motorcycles
- poha for breakfast
- every dish is garnished with kothimber and pyaaj gets replaced soon with kandha in your vocab
- hooded young girls and women (with their face covered in scarves even while walking on the road)
- 11 a.m. - 3 p.m. power cuts on Thursday
- when the shops pull down their shutters between 1 p.m. and 4:3 0 p.m. for the customary nap
- celebration is not individualistic; it is for the community
- when the Rain Gods don't pay heed to your prayers even after 48 hours, it is time to stay indoors than be stuck on flooded roads
- the roads have gone larger, wider and more flyovers have appeared but the traffic has got worse
- there is a chat shop in the corner of every street, so much so that some streets are named Bhel Chowk.
- there are more students than any other city in India

The Lead India initiative is such a mockery

Lead India is a Times of India initiative. In their own words,

On August 15, we embarked on an ambitious journey — a unique talent search which has the potential to make a huge difference to India. We began a hunt to identify new leaders for a new India, men and women with the vision and ability to empower India with the kind of political leadership that is so conspicuous by its absence.

The Lead India campaign stemmed from our belief — and overwhelming reader feedback — that even as India takes giant strides towards fulfilling its undoubted potential, it is doing so despite, not because of, its political leadership. ‘‘Good people don’t want to join politics’’ is an oft-heard lament. And yet, good governance is the cornerstone if India is to overcome the many hurdles that threaten to slow its journey to developed nation status.

And so, we decided to provide a platform to the good men and women out there who refuse to be daunted by the system, and struggle against massive odds to make life better for their fellow Indians. We invited them to come forward and use the Lead India programme as a springboard to public life. Read more about this on Lead India site

After shortlisting 8 finalists from different cities, the national finals has moved to Television. The first two episodes focused on introducing the finalists. This Saturday, was the first actual round - the one on General Knowledge.

Anyone who saw the hour long GK round would think what a joke it was. I fail to understand how knowing "Under what category, Sholay won a Filmfare award?" would make the leader chosen struggle against massive odds to make life better for their fellow Indians ? Knowing which of Akbar's navaratnas was known as Tanna Mishra will definitely enable the winner to bring good governance as it is cornerstone if India is to overcome the many hurdles that threaten to slow its journey to developed nation status.

Call it the bluff round or whatever you want. The whole purpose of such a noble cause is defeated by turning this initiative into a reality show. Your ads are good; it will boost your TRP if that's what you wanted at the end of the day. We would be no better off than our current system.

Is The Times of India trying to be Playboy?

The Times of India - a daily Indian Newspaper in English with the largest circulation started a small colorful column on its last page a few months back. It's called Graffiti. I have no idea why they run this column - more often than not, Posh Spice occupies the space here with cheesy news about their over-publicized lives.

Sometimes, I think it is one of the strategies of The Times to boost readership just as their city supplements do. I know of many people who read the Bangalore Times / Pune Times first and then if time permits, go on to read the main paper.

The point here is the Graffiti column I totally out of taste bordering on reporting news that can easily fit into the indecent category. Sample this one titled "Posh discloses all" if you don't believe me. Of late, also giving Posh company is Lewis Hamilton who gets more attention in Times for his exploits than his races.

Lil General : You turn ONE today

Happy Birthday, LG. You turn ONE today.

For once, your mom is on time with her monthly milestone posts. This is a special edition - the yearly one.

First, the monthly updates; then, a recap of the year.

It's Goodbye to fear of falling down and no signs of stranger anxiety yet.

We've given up on teaching him meaningful stuff like where is your nose, show me your mouth, say bye etc. I was very excited when "nose kaami" (read" show me your nose) was met with a aaaah aaaah from LG opening his mouth wide. Unlearning something is tougher than teaching kids something. It took 3 days to undo the nose-mouth connection.

And it took just a day for him to learn that "Hail the C Family" is to dramatically portrayed by raising both the hands that makes us clowns look straight from the Medieval Ages.

Sleep patterns are changing drastically - I-need-a-nap-every-2 hours is being replaced by I-can't-be-a-loser, I will sleep when m body can't take it any more which is usually once in three hours.

LG has fun playing the catch-me-of-you-can game with me as I chase him down the house.

Climbing up the sofa and cot without support and the knack of getting down by putting a leg first instead of hands first has been learnt.

Your parents aren't creative to come up with a nickname for you yet. We believe in calling you Pannu, willie-wonka-donka, S.S.A.C.B.K.G (can't say what it stands for), LG and anything that comes to mind.

You are happy because you received a lot of presents on your birthday which was fun.

You drive me up the wall by ignoring when I say "No". You understand that I don't want you to do what you are doing, but are smart enough to stop doing until I turn away just to resume it a minute later with a sheepish smile.

You were very passionate about your red and blue pillows from the beginning. But the attachment is just rowing stronger. You sleep in your place of the bed when drowsy and place yourself into position that makes us wonder if you are really only a year old. You've stopped shaking your legs when feeling sleepy. The decibel levels are on the rise at nights that has made your parents' insomniacs.


Some memorable pictures from LG's FIRST year:

You arrived at 8:13 p.m. on Dec 18th, 2006.

At 5 weeks, you looked at us and started smiling.

By the end of 2 months, you siwtched over to combination feeding (formula + mother''s feed)

On March 16th, you turned for the first time at 10:30 p.m. and your dad was the first to witness that.

You started on solids and cereal at four and half months, the first solid food being mashed carrots and then Nestum cereal.



You got your first set of lower teeth May 20th, at 5 months.

You enjoy the evening walks with me, which we started when you were six months old; hardly missing a day. You love going out in the pram.

You started crawling the first time on the evening of July 7th, at six and half months.

You stood for the first time at seven months.

You gave up crawling on your body and were on your fours during the Amritsar trip, at nine and half months.

You said papa the first time at ten months with the vocabulary soon comprising of just bow bow after finding good friend Beethu.

You turned ONE today. You don't walk yet or talk yet. We HATE to compare you and when people say you are not aggressive or go easily to strangers with a smile on your face, we just go with the flow. We don't take any comment about you to heart. We love you just the same, the way you are. And your grandparents too.

Another feather in the cap

Don't ask me where I've been. We've got one piece of junk for a laptop that's ready to be tossed into the dustbin any minute. Compounding to this problem is the now-on, now-off broadband connection from BSNL. By some stroke of good luck, if both these are functioning, then my Dear Son feels moms are meant to be playing with kids all day, so he plugs off my laptop. And, the boys have been taking turns in falling sick for the past ten days - it's tissues, salt water gargling, sneezing and getting high with cough syrups time. That should explain my blogging absence.

Anyways, so I got back from the dark ages today and was casually checking Little India. Guess what? My article Raising Your Multilingual Child has been published. Those of you who know me, if you are wondering if it wasn't soon enough for us to have a daughter after Lil' General, don't worry, it is only one for now - I have my hands full with Lil' General. Ananya was the name I had chosen if we had a daughter, hence its usage in the article.

My experience with getting published in The Times of India

If you are here looking for information on how to get published in The Times of India, then you are in for a disappointment. I've spent every waking second trying to get information on how to make an edit page submission to The Times.

Alright, here's the deal. I am very new to this writing game and I am not familiar with the unwritten rules; so I play by the book and deal in black and white. Now, you know how it works in India; until you've tried a zillion times for anything, success is not guaranteed.

I've had success in getting my work published to wherever I've sent so far. So, why The Times now, you might ask? Every evening when my husband returns from work, he looks at my distraught face knowing what I've been up to and asks, "Again? today, too? Why? Why just The Times? There is Mint, DNA, Hindustan Times, The Hindu, Deccan Chronicle and rattles the list." I sigh; if you have to ask you wouldn't understand. Call it my obsession or whatever you want. My morning starts with this paper everyday; it has been that way for the past 7 years of my life which makes it difficult to just turn away and give up in a day. Getting a work published in the edit section of Times of India is my dream, even if it's just for once. I know what you're thinking - very ambitious indeed for a person who started writing just a few months back. So what, I've had no rejections so far. I have a piece ready to be submitted to Times and my gut says, it wouldn't get rejected. I've closely observed and analysed every single column submitted in the past five months and I feel I am ready to try it.

Most of my writing ideas are inspired by day-to-day events and some occur in the middle of the night. Very few of these ideas transform from thoughts to articles.

Back to the Times of India story, I started this exercise of getting the editorial contacts a week back. During this period, my list of disappointment from the largest publishing house in India with a readership of 68.28 Lakh, has just grown and grown. Sample this : they have a few phone numbers listed at the back of the print edition. Since I live in Pune, these are local numbers. On calling them, I am told that the edit page articles are published from Delhi and I would have to get in touch with someone there - no information available about the Delhi contact numbers. That should be easy I thought - look up their website for the Contact Us page and just get the numbers. But, that was not meant to be. All the pages in TOI have only the Indiatimes numbers. An Indian lady with a fake westernised accent trying to pretend she didn't have a second in the world to spare was kind enough to give me the Times of India office number.

Did you know the editorial section in a newspaper office is different from the edit page section? I didn't: dumb schmuck. I thanked my stars when I spoke to a gentleman from the editorial section who promptly directed me to the edit page section..I've been trying to get through to someone for the past 3 hours while my long distance phone bill keeps increasing.

On a closing note, I've not given up; atleast not yet, just a little disillusioned right now as to why our publishing houses can't be more organized and give sufficient information on their websites or bloggers/writers/journalists in India who can put up this information such as this one.

What I would like to see are:

1. Editorial/ submission guidelines like the one for New York Times


2. Editorial Contacts such as this one at LA Times


3. This is stretching it a bit too far citing reasons for rejection, but wouldn't it be nice.


4. A rough time line before which you would get back for promising articles

I don't have stats to compare the readership of Times of India with New York Times; but what I do know is that it doesn't hurt anyone to be organized and give information right away without wasting your time and ours thereby inviting opinions at e-mail addresses which were not meant for this purpose. Time to think people!

Why ICICI Direct is not a good idea for Intra-day or Margin Trading?

In the life of a trader, there are only two types of days - great and worse; there's nothing in between that can qualify for being a mediocre one. I just experienced something worse than a worse day - totally down in the dumps; thanks to ICICI Direct for making my life so miserable. Interestingly, ICICI Direct was awarded the Most Preferred Financial Advisory Service in the CNBC Awaaz Consumer Awards 2007; this going to a brokerage firm that sucks in margin calls.

Anyways, the latest episode with ICICI Direct is that during peak trading hours, the site is exceptionally slow which means you have to go through the process of placing an order to confirming the same a number of times before getting it done by when the price has changed and it makes no sense at all. This is still OK. But what happened today cannot just be forgiven. The damn site was down for a good 9 hours starting from 14:00 hrs. Just when I placed a margin order and before I could convert it to delivery the site went down. Calls to their customer service resulted in an automated message - "Due to an unexceptionally high number of calls queued, we'll not be able to connect you. Please try again later." It was obvious; there were hundred others trying to square off their positions profitably.

I was relaxed later that evening to know that my position would have got squared off automatically at a higher price, but that was not meant to be. The jokers at ICICI took the least price when the stock was falling momentarily and squared off resulting in a huge loss. The stock in question was MRPL. Their customer care representatives were kind enough to tell me that they were working hard on improving the site and that I should have read the Terms and Conditions carefully while signing up for the demat account which apparently states that they are not liable for damages caused by technical fault. What a nice way of covering your asses!

So, my advice is if you are contemplating of opening a e-brokerage account, then go in for something else.

LG is one month shy of turning into a 1 year old

The Seniol proudly says Lil' General is growing like a weed; I prefer to say he is growing every day, every minute in to a handsome lil' one just the way babies are supposed to. Gosh! Can you believe in a month he will be a one year old. And then, I wouldn't have to count his age in terms of weeks and months..I can just say in terms of years like we grown up adults, and make him feel like one too. Seems like yesterday when I started writing about all the weird stuff that was happening inside me; those temper tantrums in the first trimester; an indulging second trimester with all the announcement "we-are-pregnant" and a nausea accentuating the weight factor in the third semester. It is all over and the product is right in front of our eyes growing everyday with the growth actually visible; it is not like those unreal moments when our parents meet us after a few months gap when we are 30 and still comment, "Oh! you have lost so much weight; the face is not shining, are you not taking good care?" while the weight machine says another story.

Am I getting nostalgic? I don't know but one thing is for sure - I'm growing old. I set out to write the 10th month milestones and here I am talking totally unrelated stuff. so, back to the topic.

The weighing machine is on LG's side and the results are there for everyone to see. I would like to be told that I am doing a good job - hmm, of feeding him, obviously. The needle on the machine kept oscillating this month as he struggled from being a fussy eater to finally giving up on his stubborn momma to eat, eat and eat.

LG met a very special friend, Beethoven aka Caesar with whom he seems to forged a very strong bond. Even I am very fond of his dear friend and we make up stories to go on a walk; just to meet him.

Diwali was special; we visited Beethu at his house and he greeted us with sweets. Beethu has also grown very fond of LG and during his walks he just keeps pacing up and down near our gate and car park refusing to go ahead with his walk. If he sights LG, he gets very excited brushing all over him and once, he even pulled out LG's socks. LG reciprocates Beethu's love with the beating of his legs and a jumping motion on his pram; I've never seen so much happiness on the boy's face. This was the quickest thing he learnt - to learn to do bow, bow and bow. Sadly , "bow" has replaced "papa" from his vocabulary.

He got naturally weaned; acts like a grown-up boy and looks at feeding as if it is an inhumanly thing to do.

Enjoys foam bath; hates wearing clothes and puts up a fight while wearing diapers.

Potty aunty visits precisely at 7 a.m. every morning. Susu aunty has been over-friendly this month; she blames it on the weather.

The Seniol is maintaining a list of all things damaged around the house and calls LG his retirement fund. Ever since LG got to know what his dad was up to, he has been smart enough to act carefully and break things only when no one is watching him. You can't blame, you can't claim if you can't prove it, right?

This was LG's first Diwali and he was irritated than being scared.

One emotion he was unaware of until now - fear, has finally surfaced. He has suddenly developed a fear for heights. Climbing up and down the diwan was child's play earlier. Now, once up, he rarely ever comes down unless we pick him.

Ever since my cook left, LG has been helping me a lot around the kitchen every evening taking the masala containers out of racks, breaking oil bottles and such.

It's amazing how kids learn on their own; he figured he could use his dad's chest for one step and my face for the next to lift himself from the floor onto the cot.

His diet has increased and so has the variety. He hates red pumpkin; loves milk ka kheer; no-love no-hate for beetroot; loves capsicum; likes idli; hates dal; loves khichdi with curd; goes bonkers on seeing his milk bottle.

Alrighty, enough of LG. Now, a little bit about me. Because my schedules are so tightly linked with his. I am not going to hide the fact that I long for the time when LG would sleep so that I can get a few peaceful moments for myself. He is not a difficult child but requires a constant watch so I can hardly get any of my work done. And his sleep patterns are erratic so I don't get as much sleep as I'd like to.

LG is helping in reducing my waistline. No amount of cycling, yoga and exercises have helped me get back in shape. He draws immense pleasure in tapping hard on my tummy, so that's my last hope now.

If you've come this far, you sure have a lot of patience. Do me a favor and send your suggestions for a theme for LG's first birthday party.

Adsense : My first check from Google

It was an anxious moment where every cent was counted and every click contributed to breach that first milestone. My first check from Google gets dispatched next month; it happened faster than I thought ..I first signed up for Google Adsense three years back and then deactivated it within three months, for no apparent reason. Just didn't see money coming in ever and it was such a waste of time to log in and see if there were any clicks at all. And, then it all changed this May with traffic increasing on both mt sites - this one and LG Rules. So, I decided to activate it again and see if it meant anything. It did; it took close to five months to reach that first milestone.
The last few dollars took for ever, some days going by without any click despite the reasonable traffic and I was on an edge wondering if it had something to do with the design of my template. Most of my visitors come through Search Engines, very few being regular readers. If you are wondering if any of those tips to make quick bucks and increase adsense revenue helped, then the answer is not really. All of them say the same thing; write everyday - choose your words right, pay attention to SEO; blend your template; just worded differently. You just got to experiment until you figure out what works best and give it time.

To my regular readers : Thank You!

Changing careers : a different perspective

I MAY never go back to doing what I did for 7 years until a year back; if circumstances are favorable. But, as they say, never say never, so you never know what future has in store. There were times I enjoyed the ride and times when I waited to get out of the rut; the rat race was getting to me. But, let's face it - one needs a paycheck at the end of the month to keep the family wheels running. In total honesty, the paycheck was good and was the only motivator to keep going. That job of 7 years was my career - I still love programming a lot but from the confinement of my home; that I thought would last a lifetime. Nothing wrong with it. How many of us change our careers mid-way? It was a reliable source of income and I never cared so much at the end of the month when money got deposited into my bank account. Sometimes, I would never check until it was the 4th or 5th day of the month. It was taken for granted.

And then, all this changed dramatically once I quit. It was my choice. Had little to do with Lil General's arrival. Whether or not LG came, my quitting had been in the scheme of things. Let's just say my mid-life crisis arrived early; I did not go through a quarter-life crisis. Being a cyber coolie was making our lives miserable, slowly killing the lively spirit we had within us. And, my job at Pune with Cognizant was one of the major contributing factors for this. LG's impending arrival provided the right reasons to take the plunge. I made the decision, quit my job and in the last couple of months at work put together a plan as to what I wanted to do.

The plan worked to a great deal in the beginning. With LG's arrival, it all came to a screeching halt. The transition from being an IT professional to a stock trader /freelance writer was hard. Any switch in career is going to be hard. You have worked all these years with a fixed mindset. To leave all that, and start from scratch with no experience was tough. To be your own brand ambassador, hunting for work and making sure you get paid for what you do was and is difficult. But let me tell you one thing - the thrill I got from my first $50 check was something that even my hefty last paycheck did not give. Every penny I earn today is hard earned. I keep track of every dollar that comes in. I never had a goal while I worked before. Now, I have quarterly targets and I work towards earning that which makes it all the more challenging and makes life interesting. Trips to Bahrain to watch Formula One can no longer be taken for granted. They have to be earned the HARD way.

It's been a year now since I quit the corporate world. There was one question that always bothered me which was a trigger point to this mid-life crisis. When many Americans lost their jobs to outsourcing, they could still make a living. An average Westerner is versatile as compared to an average Indian. Any American you find would be passionate about one thing like making motorcycles in their garages, writing, painting, carpentry etc other than what they do as a day job. So, someday even if they lose their day jobs they can go back to doing what they are passionate about and still make a living. If India is faced with the same situation as America was and we lose our jobs, do you have a plan as to what you would do? Blame it on our society, on our educational system, on whatever you wish but the fact remains most of us don't pursue anything apart from what we do for a living. I know I know you are dismissing this whole chain of thought of mine as someone from a psychic. But, do you have an answer? What makes you so sure that we'll continue to be the cheap(sorry, cost-effective) labor ten years down the line?

V says, "Do what you like with all your heart and money will follow." I don't know how far it is true. I have no idea if I will ever make what I made in a month any sooner but it has definitely been worth the try.

Kellogg's Cereal for Breakfast

In India, breakfast is an elaborate affair, just as any other meal of the day is. Depending on which part of the country you are in, your choice varies ranging from Idli/Dosa/Pongal in Tamil Nadu to Khara/*.Bath in Karnataka to Poha in Maharashtra to Paratha up North. You get it, don't ya? We Indians take the gastronomical department very seriously; our life revolves around it. Before the dinner dishes are cleaned, the ladies in the household get busy detailing the menu for the next day's lunch.

But, our household is a little different from the rest. Our breakfast has largely remained unchanged in the last five years. We take pride in the fact that we have a healthy breakfast in the form of cereals mixed in a bowl of milk on all working days. This was born out of convenience when both of us were working and continues to this day. It works great for us with so many choices for cereals available these days - in different shapes (cheerios), colors (chocos?), texture (muesli!) etc. My all-time favorite has been Kellogg's Fruit Harvest which sadly is not available in India. Kellogg's Muesli is good here. Good Earth Muesli (never heard of? ;they run frequent ads in Femina), produced by Avesthagen, is not easily available at all stores but a few supermarkets carry them. The composition of oat flakes is high and tastes yuck; only the ads and the stories are great. If you want to save time and rather spend those 15 minutes reading the newspaper; eat a breakfast devoid of oil and cholesterol with a proper balance of carbohydrates, proteins, vitamins and minerals, then try cereals!

Why being poilte doesn't work in India?

In a country with a population of over 1.3 billion, you didn't think getting things done would be a walk in the park, did you? By things, I mean simple stuff like having the electrician over to fix your leaking geyser or expecting the fully-paid for book shelf to be delivered as promised on Sunday without 10 reminders.

Reality bites and the fact is being polite just doesn't work in this country. Everywhere everyone is in a mad run to nowhere; ready to stomp over the next person and it takes a great deal of patience to get anything done. Callousness is inbuilt; perfection is elusive and expecting one can only lead to a stressful life and a weak heart.

There's always a incident or a bad experience that acts as trigger point for every post. For this one, it was my experience with getting my gas burner fixed. In May 2007. I exchanged the old gas stove for a new 4-burner prestige stove thinking it will come in handy for multi-tasking and make cooking faster. Within a month after buying, two burners stopped working or were on a very low flame making it useless. I've been calling the customer service of Prestige for the past 60 days and every time I am promised someone will show up at my doorstep before 8:30 p.m. Gentle requests, raised voices, threats to return the stove - nothing has worked so far!

What's cooking for Diwali ?

We are a multicultural family namesake, falling heavily towards on one culture for all occasions, festivals etc. i am fortunate that way for not being forced by in-laws to adhere to rituals with a 10 page long to-do list of what to do, what not to do, what to eat, what not to eat, what to gift and who to visit. Oh! Believe me we know of quite a few couples who get diktats of when to goto the loo. We are a very flexible and easy going family with no hassles, no expectations and no qualms about anything; the downside being that this casual outlook doesn't go down well with everyone! I know this was a digression but I feel better having got it out of my system for it ruined my Diwali evening partially! Its a bane in today's times to make others feel good. My wise husband said, "Never ever argue on Religion and Politics. Opinions on these are like a*holes and everyone has one." But you know how women are, don't you? You stand to win a Nobel if you can determine what they want. Seriously.The toughest species created on Mother Earth - it would have been a saner place without this species, so complex that it sends my head spinning! And men are transformed to women after marriage.

Alrighty, now to the Diwali part. One of the Diwali traditions when we grew up was to make sweets at home and distribute it to friends in the colony. I've continued this tradition even after marriage and didn't want to blame LG for my laziness this year. Making sweets and namkeen while LG is awake is a big task. It took a little effort and hanging out after dinner in the kitchen to get the goodies done, but I was determined to have it out of my way. Two namkeen and one sweet in three nights isn't bad, right? Coconut Burfi - a hot favorite wasn't perfect in its usual white, a little charred but tasted yummy. Thengozhal and tape came out crispy and tasted way better than any I've done before. I started making these delicacies a little too early ahead of Diwali or they were very less in quantity. Blame it on the husband who stays up late; sneaks into the kitchen; hunts for the hidden sweet dabba; fishes out a piece and restores it in its place for the wife to discover on Diwali morning that the dabba is a lot lighter than its original weight. Running short of home made sweets to distribute to people on Diwali morning, I just got them nicely packed gifts from a store nearby. The Rangoli ritual was an elaborate affair and the fireworks part very brief this year..pictures will come in soon.

The two day long Deepavali-Diwali; the first one for Lil General, went on well. We had a good time - dressing, eating, shopping and hanging out together!

Diwali Rangolis

Here are the two Diwali Rangolis that I put up in our house and some from the neighbourhood. Mine are kolams (patterns made by joining dots) while people here generally draw beautiful Rangolis. One of my favorite activities on Diwali's eve is to walk around the neighbourhood looking for the best Rangoli.

Growing up : Girls and groceries

I was eight when I recall being sent to the sweet shop in the colony first time with a Rs.10 note to buy jalebis for myself and my brother. This was year 1986. and perhaps the first time when I handled a Rs. 10 note all by myself. I was thrilled at the thought of shopping for the family, doing the mental math and getting the right change back home for the sweet shop guy was known to cheat. I did a good job and with time other tasks followed : buying vegetables and other groceries from the kirana shop.

A lot has changed since then. Times have changed. Kids these days carry Rs.100 with ease as pocket money to school and buy burgers for a snack during their morning break. All we got was a Rs.5 soiled note to fix the cycle tyre to get back home just in case it got punctured. I am not complaining. We grew well and we grew fine; knew the importance and worth of money.

It is but natural for one to expect grown up girls these days to be street smart. So, it came as a surprise when we saw a teenager struggling to buy a bunch of dhania. One evening last week, on our way back home, we stopped by the local vegetable vendor. we were particularly impressed by this girl - not by anything she did but the way she was dressed and looked. All seemed well until she asked the lady how much the kothimber was for? She paid and then hesitantly looked at the bunch up and down and sideways, unable to determine if it was alright. She cast a quick glance at the vegetable lady and asked, "Yeh achcha hai na..nahi tho mama vapas bhej dhengi mujhe?"`That innocent look on her face said it all..she was really concerned by the quality of the bunch she had picked up. After reassurance from the lady, the girl was on her way. The lady was quick to comment to us, "itni badi ho kar dhania khareedna nahi aatha". But the incident made me think. I am sure given Rs. 6K, she can pick up a good mobile phone for herself. Why is domesticity being looked down upon? Is it not a part of one's growing up? Was this girl just a one off case or did she represent today's generation?

LG is 10 months old and the boys at home rock!

The monthly newsletter is a few weeks late this time. Lil General completed ten months on 18th October while his grandparents were here. Two months shy of completing an year, the boy is growing fast, his antics increasing by the day and doesn't lose a minute to surprise us. If you are short of energy you know who to look up to. Vivek and I are seriously considering to moving to a Cerelac - dal rice - Porridge diet. We believe this is better than any Red Bull. The only time during the day when we have a peaceful moment to ourselves is the time LG naps.

October was a month of heavy duty socializing that took us on a 10 day trip to Amritsar, meeting friends in Delhi and a visit by my parents on our return. Meeting new people did a world of good to Lil General's separation anxiety. Both sets of grandparents were anxious before they met him as to how he would react on seeing them, if he would play with them etc. All their doubts and fears were put to rest. it took him a few minutes to be all over them. Conquering my dad's tummy was like being on an expedition to Mt. Everest for LG, a feat that he couldn't achieve. But there's always a next time. Visits to grandparents naturally meant more and more gifts that his wardrobe can hold.

LG and his paternal granny competed in who could sleep the most while his grandpa stayed guard while LG slept, never leaving him alone even for a minute. His dadaji just couldn't have enough of him and played with him the most. Retirement, in his words, makes you feel lost. Suddenly you lose the purpose for living and get drawn into a mode of depression. LG's visit did a lot of good to him that way. One of our fond memories from Amritsar was the visit to Golden Temple and the lovely dinner at Pizza Hut. The guys at Pizza Hut took very good care of Lg while we ate and did a small dance that LG appreciated without even so much as blinking his eye. Maybe, we too should shake a leg for him.

The air hostesses became instant fans of LG. There was a lot of opportunity for brushing his hands over their face and pulling their hair - I must say they didn't mind their makeup going awry.

He has been able to sit well, without support. He can stand and walk with support. We just have a few weeks on our hand to move stuff around the house that are at a 2 feet level to over 4 feet.

Though "thambudu" didn't put an instant smile on his face, he connected with my mom in a special way. Laughing so loudly every time she gave a lemon to him to make him open his mouth so that I can feed him (yea, those were the fussy eater days) made her happy. He was fond of her new bangles. The only person he spared from biting frequently was my mom but her glasses were under attack often.

Dad ought to thank his stars for all his gadgets went back with him safe and sound. I can't guarantee the same next time though.

The potty stories remain - do I even need to start ranting the details about texture, color and smell. This makes me feel he is not a ten month old but a well grown up old.


He still blows raspberries, beats his chest out of happiness and has learnt to say pa-pa. No ma-ma yet. Vivek has been training him and I HATE him for that because he said pa-pa first. The boys rock when they are together. But doesn't matter because I know he loves me more and doesn't need a reason to smile at me. Bites me hard, pulls my hair and scratches my face. I know I make his day and that makes me happy.

Oh, before I forget, he stopped crawling on his stomach in Amritsar. I loved the way he used to do it and was so fast at it. There were times when I thought I should go around the house that way for a week - the only way I'll lose all the fat. He learnt the art of crawling on his fours. It is amazing how kids refuse to do what they did when they reach a new milestone. It would be a matter of weeks before he stops crawling and starts walking. What remains with us is memories and the footage on video camera. (I haven't been doing a very good job of filming him :( )

The cool Delhi girls and the above 50 know-it-all Punjabi gentlemen

The Lil General family was on a vacation to Amritsar en route Delhi earlier this month. This was to be our last vacation to the Northern part of India for now. This post is inspired by the mind-blowing experience of those 10 days.

My Father-in-Law retired earlier this year and is moving back to his hometown by the end of this year. Before he left Punjab, we wanted to take Lil General there once. Not that he would remember anything, but just for memory sake. I have been there two times before this and I totally love the place - the best vacations I have had are at Amritsar. Since this was going to be the last time I would ever visit Amritsar, I had a lot of plans drawn up for those 10 days - visit to the Wagah border, stuffing myself with aloo-mooli-gobi parathas with dollops of butter, curd and pickle and going to the Golden Temple.

Stuffing too many parathas can't be good for one's health, so I realized after two days of incessant eating. Vivek and I took turns to fall sick dashing to the toilet at 4 a.m. It wasn't a good scene. Two days later LG fell sick and two weeks later, he is still yet to recover fully. So the vacation was a disaster - no sightseeing, no shopping, no eating out..just lying sick at home and flying back ten days later.

But there were some funny incidents that we observed during this travel.

Scene at the Delhi airport : Mother, two babies and two nannies.

I live in the Stone age for sure. It was hard to believe that the impeccably dressed lady in black tights, a silk kurti, D&G glasses, highlighted hair and pedicured feet was the mother of two under-4 kids. I wondered where she had the time for all those parlor trips. Within minutes, my question was answered. Two nannies appeared out of nowhere lugging their baggage and promptly taking one child each while the mom went to get her Rs.86 coffee (yes, can you believe a coffee could cost so much at the Delhi airport? ) at Cafe Coffee Day. Two nannies for two kids. This can happen only in India. This was the first time I saw nannies being flown just so the mother need not be bothered about taking care of the kids.

I dismissed this whole thing as a one-off case. Anyways, the perception in India is that Punjabis prefer to live a lifestyle more than what they can afford and flaunt off way too much.

On our way back, I met another lady who was traveling with her 2 year old son and the nanny. So this is definitely not a unique thing in today's times.

Scene at the Indian Airlines flight from Delhi to Amritsar :

An elderly Punjabi gentleman was seated with another elderly gentleman friend of his in the row before ours in the flight. The hostess offers a imli (read: tamarind) candy and the gentleman (let's call him the candy uncle) demands a full packet. The hostess gently refuses saying they are running short and will give him some more if she has any left. The candy uncle takes offense and returns the one he picked up too. She would have stepped a little ahead when he abuses her and the airlines in Punjabi.

Twenty minutes after we took off, the lady comes with a pack of imli candies and the candy uncle gladly accepts it with the a wide grin. Now, just in case you didn't know, this pack of candies is available in every kirana (grocery) store in Amritsar for Rs.15.

Time to land and LG gets a little restless. Refuses to feed or drink water from his bottle. Instead he shouts for a sec then stops, then starts again. This caused him comfort and I let him do that so long he was opening and closing his mouth. Now this annoys the candy uncle and he reprimands me while Vivek was looking away. I didn't want to create a scene and let it go and decided to tell him to mind his business if he said that once more. Vivek was pissed obviously but I asked him to forget it this one time.

We have landed and the standard instruction to keep our mobiles switched off is given. Candy uncle switches it on and ignores the hostess request to switch it off - all the time commenting to his friend what these ladies knew about flying.

The flight from Delhi to Amritsar is actually bound to Sharjah with a stopover at Amritsar. So there were some Mallu gentlemen seated in front of the candy uncle. Candy uncle tries to converse with them but the Mallu gentlemen couldn't talk in English / Hindi. Candy uncle makes fun of this to co-passengers.

Candy uncle had little courtesy for passengers ahead of him that he shoved his way through to get off the plane. Vivek commented loud enough for him to hear that maybe they should tie a rope to such people so that they can just get down instead of going down the stairs. Or still better put them in the luggage compartment down.

We were the last to get off. Vivek was quite annoyed by his behavior during those 50 minutes that he asked the air hostess, "Do you get such jackasses everyday?" she understood who we were referring to and replied assertively, "yes sir we do."

Candy uncle was again not a one-ff case. Many over 50 gentlemen in that part of the country have such an attitude.

The cool Delhi girls :

Now, I've been to Delhi before. But I don't know if I wasn't attentive enough or if I was color blind to take notice of those beautiful girls. All the well-dressed girls apparently seem to be in this city. Honestly, the way I was dressed, it was worse than the nannies of kids in Delhi. Nicely done hair, cool glasses, stilettos, capris, silk tops, matching accessories - it looked like a dream to see every girl in Delhi turn out this way. And it wasn't just at the airport. Even in the city. There's something in the Delhi air that it does to you. It's not just about dressing well - the confidence shows and the way they conduct themselves is amazing. They dress and look the part. You gotta see it to believe it. Delhi, its not fair to the other cities.

How to write an RFP?

A sample article on How to write an RFP I had written for ChilliBreeze gets published online with a rating of 4/5. This takes the count of number of articles published to 3 - one every month.

Feedback : Asian Paints' Home Solutions

If you are planning to get your home painted through Asian Paints' Home Solutions, then think again. I was carried away by their impressive advertising in newspapers just as you might have been. All it took was images of houses painted with bright colors and a toll free number to call them when we decided to get our apartment in Bangalore before renting out again. I called them which was promptly answered by a lady who asked for details such as the location, area of the house, surface (outer/inner walls) to be painted and other standard questions that I provided. She promised that someone would call up within 48 hours to fix an appointment to inspect the site and get further details. She was insistent on getting all our contact numbers - residence and two mobile numbers. No call came even after a week. So, when V called up again, she confirmed all our details was resting in their database and had no proper explanation as to why no one got back. This time we were assured of a positive response. It's been a month since the incident. After such a irresponsible way of conducting business we decided not to go ahead with Asian Paint's. Further inquiry also revealed that they do a bad job of completing the work undertaken. The quote agreed upon is never the final one and I believe client's are harassed to pay more or stay with a job half done! So much for the brand name..

My new toy - The Nokia 770

Vivek got me a new Nokia 770 Internet Tablet through Pravin. Pravin had got his 770 to Trichy while I was there for my delivery. So very convenient that we decided to get one too. N800 would have definitely been better but the 770 serves its purpose for now and it's price has come down drastically.

I am confined to the bedroom for a good part of the day because of LG's crawling adventures that result in minor accidents. Staying in the bedroom makes it easier to keep an eye on him while I go about doing my stuff. With the laptop's power woes increasing, it was becoming difficult to stay connected. Nokia 770 seemed to be the perfect solution for me to keep track of the stock prices. The idea was not to blog or mail extensively using this.

The interface is not too small to cause too much strain while reading. Writing is a pain though. Input through handwriting doesn't work great. GTalk is inbuilt and it is very handy to talk to someone while on the move. Light to carry around where you go around the house. With a wireless router, you can stay connected always - anyplace, anytime. What I don't like about it though is the keying in part - maybe a bluetooth keyboard would work well. And many sites suck on this such as the blogger and icicidirect partly defeating my purpose of buying this. Maemoblog does not support the new blogger API which is a shame.

The Economic Times Equity Challenge

Yo! I rule (not anymore though). I enrolled in the Economic Times Equity Challenge exactly two weeks back and it took lesser than i had imagined to break into the top 100. Let's just say I was riding high on the Reliance wave. The game is simple...the way it works is you get a notional amount of Rs. 10 Lakh on the first of every month to build your portfolio. The person with maximum gains at the end of the month is chosen as the winner. I made it to the top 10 day toppers for 3 consecutive days . It was amazing to rise from Rank 1400 on day 1 to Rank 78 in 10 days. Wish I had enrolled on September 1. And what if it were real money..I would be sitting on a cool 20% profit in less than two weeks..phew!

The secret is not to worry too much as in real money and not do much during the day, to book profits and reenter the counter on dips. I also stayed away from too much speculation and responding to market rumors. The best was 50% gains in Reliance Natural. I had purchased 900 shares of RNRL for real too on 4th September but sold them a day early to book a 10% profit. The very next day it shot up by 37% followed by 22% the day after. I was just shot of killing myself for having acted in haste.

A clinging nightmare at 9 months

The lean mean crawling machine has moved on to the next stage in life. His mom's presence is required at all times of day and night. A disappearance act by me can send the eardrums of anyone in the vicinity to burst. The shrill pitched cry is to let me know, "Come back else the neighbors will come knocking at our door as to what's wrong withe the hero of the neighborhood." To Lil General's credit, everyone around acknowledges him as a very well behaved kid. "Spend a day with us and you'll know", I tell them.

Its hard to say if it was hard on me when he was a foetus or when he was all of 4 weeks being colicky crying through the evenings or that rolling over stage trying to fall off the bed or when he began crawling and broke my dear Netgear. I find it very hard now. He didn't need me waiting on him hand and foot all through the day all these months. Makes me think if its just the age or something wrong with my parenting techniques that has got him clinging to me so much. I can't read a book in the same room. I can't work on the laptop sitting on top of the bed. I have to sit next to him so that he can play with me, pull my hair, climb over me, sit on my tummy, poke my nose, bite my ankle and laugh while I scream in pain. He LOVES me and this is his way of expressing it. I DO too but sometimes it just gets to me.

His Highness now expects to be fed in his chair while we have our food. He won't eat alone. He hates drinking water from a table and likes to drink like adults, holding the beaker with both his hands only to let it fall after a few seconds.

Door knobs, door mats, soiled clothes, sandals, shoes, cooker, the adhesive of his nappy pads and anything that remotely resembles dirt with thousands of bacteria in it continue to fascinate him.

The toys have barely managed to stay in shape. They are held, turned around and then banged hard on the floor. Gadhadhari bheem doesn't enjoy carrying the gadha anymore.

Krishna Jayanthi and Ganesh Chathurthi were fun for LG too as he made an imprint of his legs for the former and joined us in pooja for the latter. Everyday he makes a visit to the pooja room to look at the pulayar idol.

I managed to complete The Third World War and restore it back to the book shelf but the The Devil wears Prada that I am currently reading might not be as lucky.

There are time he behaves like a grown up not wanting to be disturbed while he is busy playing with his toys or breaking stuff or just surveying the house. And then there are moments when he makes us realise he is just a small nine month old baby who needs the attention and love of his parents. He enjoys it when we applaud him on the feat of pulling down the bath foam bottle from the second shelf or attempting to eat a biscuit on his own with crumbs strewn all round the floor. Sure, it means a lot of work for us after the event but it makes him happy and encourages him to keep trying.

The moments that I'd rather not remember are the potty sessions and waking up at 4:47 a.m. every morning like an alarm clock.

The ground level is clear for navigation. We just got done with childproofing the house -stage 1. Happy about our accomplishment, I was telling V, now we can take it a little easy for a few more months. We were wrong. He is attempting to stand. Working hard at it every second of the day he is awake. and what do you know? Baby center sends us a newsletter asking us to look for things from his eye level and remove the objects. So you have 2 grown up adults crawling their way through the house. Most of the stuff that were on the ground moved up by 2 feet. Now they will have to move further - on our heads! Damn!

Maaaaaaaaaa Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Paaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Paaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. It sounded like this though it could have easily meant anything else. I wanted to believe that he spoke his first words and didn't waste a minute letting my family know. For all you know, it would be quite sometime for a repeat performance. All he is interested in now is moving around to break stuff.

From a demanding eater he turned into a fussy one giving us a very hard time. Things are getting better on that front, though you never know.

The pram rides continue to be fun though he isn't laid back and sits through the rides ready to take on the world smiling at strangers, acknowledging faces he knows and turning away from people he despises. I know, what an attitude at this age! And I'm not kidding on the turning his face away part.

As if he meant to say, "Grow up, get an iPod momma", he broke my favorite Air Supply cassette. If there is a knock (sorry bang)on the bathroom door, then I know its been more than 2 minutes since I went in. So my run to the bathroom sessions have to be planned during his sleeping hours. Emergency trips to the loo can wait until there is another adult in the house.

Peek-a-boo was a fun game. Now, he gives the kind of look that says, "I am a grown up and stop being childish all the time."

He is growing up and so am I, in my own ways.

How much do you gain from bargaining?

If you can show me an Indian who buys a vegetable from a roadside hawker without bargaining, I will treat you to a dinner. There is one thing we Indians share irrespective of the state we come from, our upbringing or the status in society - the compulsion to bargain before buying anything. It is more psychological in nature than getting real value for the product you buy or the service you pay for.

I was a compulsive bargainer and took pride in the fact that I managed a Rs.500 discount for the Rs.10,000 washing machine or got that Kg. of Tomato for a Rupee cheaper. If there was ever a big ticket to be bought at home, I was always taken to the shop for milking the last rupee for the item bought. The organized retail sector has done little to help Indians get rid of this habit. The haggling in malls and supermarkets gets sophisticated with demands of discount in percentages. The look of helplessness is drawn all over the cashier's face as he is in no control to give discounts to customers with all the prices programmed and fed in to the system.

This behavior of ours I believe has a lot to do with our upbringing. The generation of our parents perceived that they were always cheated and did not get value for money spent. .And bargaining was the only route to get the real value for their service. This has passed onto the next generation. Theirs was a time when a Rupee had significant value. Value of rupee has changed so has our standard of living but not our mindset.

I don't take pride in my bargaining habit anymore. It all changed this Sunday. I took pairs of sandals to be stitched to the roadside cobbler. There were three pairs and I asked the lady how much it would cost me. She examined them as if to calculate in her head what the real cost would be plus the extra 2- 3 rupees and then replied, "Barah" (read: Twelve rupees). I agreed and told her I would pick up the stitched sandals ten minutes later. The surprise showed on her face for a minute because the lady expected me to bargain, perhaps for Rs.10 as every other customer who came to her shop did. Infact, I have done that myself before, for all these years. Advice from Dad and V echoed in my ears, "Don't ever bargain with the vegetable guys and these people. They have a very less margin. If you can afford it and if it doesn't seem over the top, just pay it and keep moving." How much was I going to gain from getting her to fix those sandals for Rs.10? Rs.2 is perhaps a substantial amount of her daily earnings. These are the very people who form the "have-not" section of our society. Why widen that gap with some mean behavior of ours just to get a happy feeling in our minds of having won over that person for Rs. 2?

The dark side of being a stay-at-home-mom

OK, firstly, I had never thought in my wildest dreams that I would use this term - "stay-at-home-mom" ever.

The jargons SAHM and WAHM (Work at home mom) that all the online mommy blogger community with so much ease as saying hi and bye, drives me up the wall. Yes, I DETEST the terms because so much is made out of nothing. There's always one post everyday you can find on one of those popular mommy blogger sites, to begin with The Mad Momma who leads the online mommy brigand with her never ending rant on this topic that talks about the trials and tribulations of a mom staying at home and those working. I have nothing against her or the others, it's their wish. But isn't the grass always greener on the other side and neither of the parties are content with their status with something always to crib about and justify why they chose the path they did. Financial independence, what if something happens to my husband some day, what use is my Post graduate degree if I sit at home, diminishing social life, gender (in)equality etc etc - you know the arguments and the never ending justifications.

This post is anything but all of the above. V and I do talk a lot about how things have changed ever since I started staying home and we both constantly work all the time to keep me mentally stimulated (not necessarily gaining financially) with writing and trading for instance. The arrival of Lil General had nothing or little to do with my quitting. It just acted as a catalyst that I had been planning for a long time in search of something I liked to do for a career.

As we went for our evening walk today, something dawned on me when V said, "these are not my topics of interest to discuss". For some relationships, intelligent conversations provide that spark and you connect on a mental plane that no mushy or mundane conversation ever can. The dark side of my staying home has changed the way we connect. It is no longer about which corporate bagged the huge deal or how much profits our respective organizations made that quarter or what new hiring policy was going on or which moron MBA (oh I have a lot of issue against the MBAs and it's no secret, at the risk of some of my good friends taking offense like MD, AK) got in as a new business analyst with zilch knowledge about systems. And we loved these conversations talking into the wee hours lying on the couch as weekend(s) passed by and we wouldn't have moved our bums out of the damn house! There was always something to debate on. Now suddenly all of it has changed. I am the sounding board with very little to contribute. My window to the world is the Internet and Economic Times, which if I am lucky I get to read some days else it comes out of the potty next day from LG.

Every evening, I still have a lot to tell as V gets back from work. Not about who put in his paper or what mail my manager sent with screwed up grammar. It all revolved around which salesman came and at what time of the day - sometimes to the precise minute. I rant about the fights my maid has with her daughter-in-law, how the people downstairs spend loads of money on their wood work or how bad the noise level was from the neighbor's house who just turned his driveway to set up a atta grinding machine and how the neighbour lady looks svelte all the time and impeccably dressed. Its more about the vegetables and groceries than the deadlines and milestones at work. Nothing interesting..all the mundane stuff with some exciting tidbits on how LG entertained me and kept me productive.

This life is convenient. I am in a comfort zone now, having stayed away from work for a year. But this is black hole. You just get drawn deeper and deeper by the day. I've no idea where I am going with this post...its all muddled in the head right now as I try to find my answers of how to take it forward staying at home. Maybe those of you who work from home as freelancers can show me some light as to how you compensate for the lack of working in an environment with people mushrooming around your work place.

Gokulashtami : How to draw Krishna's little feet?

I look forward to Janmashtami / Krishna Jayanthi every year for one reason. I love making Krishna's little feet something that I've done since I was 13 years old. The house we live in currently has a black flooring so the feet appear beautifully against the dark background.

How to make these little feet :

1. Mix maida in water or soak rice for 4 hours and then grind it in a mixer. Don't make these mixtures too thick..its consistency should be neither watery or nor like a dough. Somewhere in between like a porridge will do.


2. Fold your hands as if you were going to punch someone. Now place your hands in the mixture and then make the impression on the floor. This becomes the feet. Place five dots over the feet to form fingers.


3. Alternate this process with both hands to get the pattern of Krishna walking.


4. For every 3 or 4 single steps put both the feet together.

This year, I had Lil General to help me out. I put his feet in the mixture and made him stand :)

Nine tips to get over your blogging addiction

Are you constantly finding ways to trick your company firewall to gain access to your favorite blog? When you wake up at 1:00 a.m. to go to the loo, do you also sneak into the study to peek quickly into the laptop if anyone has left a comment on your 11:00 p.m. post? Do you think hard when someone asks you what your hobby is or do you instantly answer “blogging”? Do your blog buddies outnumber your other friends?

Unless you blog for a living, these are signs of being addicted to blogging. Technorati estimates that there are currently 95.7 million blogs with over 175,000 new blogs being created every day and that bloggers update their blogs regularly to the tune of over 1.6 million posts per day, or over 18 updates a second. The statistics are mind boggling and addicted bloggers like you and me contribute to these numbers which makes it important to monitor one’s blogging habits before it gets in the way of our lives. Below are some tips that will help us keep this obsession in check:

1. Stop the chain reaction – Blog hopping is a chain reaction. If the latest post on one of your favorite blogs links to another blog on which you might find another interesting link, then before you realize you would’ve already spent a good 30 mins blog hopping. And then you get back to reading your daily dosage which can span anywhere from an average 50 to 300. Save the interesting links on your social bookmark manager like http://deli.cio.us for later reading.
2. Get a life – Set aside a time of the day to read and write blogs just as you would for any other activity as cycling, dinner, reading for the kids etc. Do not be tempted to skip any other activity to write a comment or post for the 10th time that day. Go back to your hobby like gardening, skating or whatever interested you before blogging hooked you on.
3. Make topical feeds – Set aside a day of the week for each topic if you have too many blogs on your list. Classifying them based on topics such as General, Technology, Entertainment and reading posts on a particular topic will not be overwhelming and time consuming.
4. Post once a day – Some bloggers make it a point to leave a comment on every post on every blog they read to build links to their own blog thereby boosting the rating for their site. Soon, it becomes a full time job. Ask yourself, “Do I really want to write about how glasses of beer I gulped down today or what channels I surfed on TV or am I writing because there is nothing else to write about?” Sure, there are a lot of people out there to read the dirt on one’s private life but sooner than later, it is the quality of your posts that will matter than quantity.
5. Clear the RSS clutter – If there are way too many RSS feeds in your blog reader like bloglines or Google reader, it is time to examine them on a quarterly basis and remove the ones that don’t interest you any longer. This way you will keep your reading list small.
6. Early to bed and early to rise – Late night is family time and early morning is a good time to exercise. 11:00 p.m. with the laptop and switching on the monitor at 6:00 a.m. to check if someone has left a comment on your last post are sure signs of a bad lifestyle.
7. Stop dating with statistics – Obsessively monitoring the statistics every hour is the first indication of being addicted to blogging. Do you get into the nitty-gritty of site statistics analysis as to how people reached your blog, from which part of the world they came and how much time they spent on what part of the site? It is alright to analyze your traffic once a week but if you find yourself doing it more than two or three times a day, then it is time to sign up for a weekly e-mail report and consciously stop logging checking.
8. Fame calling? – How many contests have you enrolled yourself into in the past 1 month that gives awards for the best bloggers under various categories? Keep a check on this and if you really feel the need to enter, then apply for the widely recognized one than every other contest announced in town. Some bloggers attain fame quickly and are widely known in the virtual world of blogosphere. In order to keep up with the pressure they churn out post after post. Even if fame is knocking at your doors, keep a tab on your blogging habits.
9. Bid goodbye to broadband – Give yourself a reasonable time to try all of the above. If none of them works, then maybe it is time dump your broadband for a while.

These are only tips and this is just like another addiction. It takes a lot of self discipline and willingness to acknowledge you are addicted and take appropriate steps to get over it before it starts taking over your lifestyle.

Lil General's blog URL changes

Lil General Rules is now at http://lgrules.blogspot.com

To dad, the writer

Every time my article has been published and I'd got to know, I'd call up dad at work. His voice said it all as to how proud he was of me. Dad is a man of few words. The one who has encouraged me in all my endeavors silently pushing me to give in my best - be it trying for a new job, freelancing, trading or now writing.
I know he reads my blog regularly now. I have never cared so much about who reads my blog or what they think of it as much as I have begun to now. He has raised the bar for me by reading my blog. I care about how I churn my articles now because there's a standard I want to meet and wouldn't want to wrote carelessly anymore.
Dad, any day, writes thousand times better than I do. He never knew he had it in him to write, until one Sunday in August, 1988 when a colleague of his approached him to write an essay on "Energy Conservation" for his daughter who was taking part in an Essay Competition in school the next day. What was strange is his daughter and I studied in the same school and shared the first two ranks amongst us every after year. So dad decided to write the essay but instead asked me to participate. If there was one thing I have been good at like all the other million school going kids in India, it was at rote learning (for the record, I don't take any pride in that and wouldn't ever want LG to pick up that). I churned out the essay word by word the and went on to win the competition. Prizes in elocution, debates and essay competitions followed for the next three years.

The proudest moment for dad came in 1991 when I went for the State Level debate on "Natural Disaster". I regret not saving those sheets of paper on which he wrote. To this day, I don't think I can ever write such a to-the-point, well researched essay on any topic with all the information I need being just a click away. The school did not sponsor beyond the district level. So dad bore the expense which was a LOT those days to take me from Gulbarga to Bangalore. I didn't win against contestants who were much older than I but the journey was an experience I will cherish forever. Every contestant had his/her school teacher on the stage changing slides for them as they spoke, for me dad was with me on the stage. I was nervous but he said I was good, which was bigger than any prize that I would've got. The stage was mine but the words and research were dad's, the encouragement and practice those of mom. Looking back, I guess I am fond of writing because of what I saw in dad, the writer who never wrote professionally. I would be more than thrilled to see him write professionally and getting published.

Life is one long running race

It has been a long time since I did one of those what-I-was-up to-in-the-weekend posts. what perhaps prompted this was a comment by V on Saturday morning. It was around 9:00 a.m. and we had just finished breakfast. As I gathered the dishes and made my way to the kitchen to get our lunch ready, LG's brunch, bathe and get dresses before leaving for the hospital, he looked at me and said, "Will you take a break?" I understood what he meant and replied, "Life is one running race now." Its not like I'm always on my toes or something. I don't do a full time job, for that matter I don't do any job at all, so I have a lot of time during the week when Lil General sleeps. Some days, sometimes a whole week can go cranky without getting anything done - no trading, no writing etc. The irony of that statement in my taking a break was to do with how similar weekdays have become with weekends.

A child changes everything. Or rather we let ourselves change, subconsciously. Everything happens by the clock revolving around their activity - juice time, Nestum time, sleep time, bathe time, nappy change time and there's always something that's not done. Gosh! he is only 8 months old now. Wonder what I would do when he starts school and starts all of those classes too - guitar, football etc.

Weekends before LG came into our lives meant chilling out. Totally. We have always been early risers, so that sphere of life hasn't changed. No shower Saturdays, salad nights, movie Sundays and so on. Nothing was planned so meticulously. I didn't maintain a to-do list on the refrigerator top or add to the grocery list as and when something got over. Life is more planned now, sometimes to the minute, to the hour. Ad-hoc moments are a thing of the past. I can no longer afford to open the fridge and say, "Oh shit...carrots are over. Can I fix Maggi for LG's breakfast instead?"

For all I know, going out to work for a few hours everyday would have given me a mental break. Lil General is a very sweet non-fussy child that way. Doesn't bother me much and is quite independent. But at times, a mom needs a physical and mental break. Can be as small as sipping that morning cup of tea by the balcony for longer with a newspaper in hand without having to rush to the kitchen to tick off the next item on the list. I think I get it what V said and we both deserve the break now!

The weekend was good. We've started watching television while LG is asleep in the afternoons. Chak De India was good and so was Rush Hour 3. The IIFA awards on Star Gold was crap. However, Boman Irani was entertaining. Spent the whole of Saturday trying to get Netgear fixed. Turns out, it couldn't take one more fall. The damage is done. The antenna is broken and the wi-fi light wouldn't turn on. So there goes the router in the dumpster. All the electronics in the house are in a jinxed state - first the Bose, then the laptop and now Netgear :(

8 month old is a drama queen

The monthly newsletter is running a little late this time. Lil General completed eight months on August 18th.

The first thing that comes to my mind as I start reflecting on the past month is his increasing fan following in the neighborhood. Strangers stop by to look at him and comment "He is soooooooooo cute." Needless to say, they are mostly college girls or other kids between the ages of 5 and 10. They even know the time when he comes out for a walk and there a few kids waiting around the corner to say hello to him everyday. Oh, and then just about a couple of blocks away, there are 2 girls we always spot on the scooty who said, "Cute father and son." I was a little behind and I overheard them and smiled at them. They did not realise I was the wife and mother of the boys. The sheepish smile on their face said it all :)

The 24*7 entertainment channel never ceases to amuse and surprise us with every action of his. The modem is hanging on to its dear life, the antenna of the Netgear is already broken and I can still hear a feeble beep sound on the land line. The laptop unlike what I predicted has survived.

Vivek and I are slowly figuring out the Parenting manual. There are a lot of hidden costs in child rearing that is never told to you. For example, when you are at the hospital waiting for your turn, if your child pushes the ceramic vase on display and it breaks, you ought to pay for it. The child like LG pretending it did not happen or he wasn't the one to be blamed doesn't help. Yes yes, we paid Rs.100.

Our favorite dog who is by profession a stock trader, Buco Kidoo ha stopped hitting the floors. He was attacked by LG and has been in bed ever since. Buci, his girlfriend, tried rescuing him and has regretted that.

This was also the month when he sat with support for the first time and for a few seconds without support too. He loves sitting now and makes it seem so natural.

The drama queen has his way shouting for no reason with the croc tears always handy. Unfortunately, his parents were born two decades ago to read through his fake crying.

Waking up at 4:00 a.m. is second nature to him. There is a lot of chores to be done around the household - like mopping with his dear susu aunty, putting the soiled clothes from his basket into the washing machine, cleaning the music system and finally eating the wires. And he likes company at that hour, so we ought to be on our toes else be ready for the scratches on my face and the bite on Vivek's nose. This has earned him the name "gunda".

"Good morning kunju" and "good evening kunju" puts a smile on his face.

Holding and passing objects from one hand to another is easy, so is kneeling and half standing for the lean mean crawling machine.

Public display of affection, let me not even begin talking about it. He is very affectionate towards me, understands I am his mother probably which naturally gives him the license to pull my hair, remove my glasses, slap me in the face and scratch me on my arms. When I am sleeping, he loves to climb over me and sleep.

The sher ka bachcha doesn't cry if he gets a wound on his legs. He was bleeding after scratching himself on the knee in the bathtub and didn't shed a tear when Vivek applied Dettol.

He doesn't like eating from his cup or bottle anymore. Wants everything poured directly in his mouth, all at once. Will someone tell him there is no one waiting to have his Nestum?

New territories have been captured like the kitchen and pooja room.

Well, thats all I can recollect for now. More in the next edition in a few weeks....over and out!

Home Alone

A L-shaped balcony just about wide enough to hold 2 adults that opened to a vacant plot on one and an abandoned house on the other side. The main door of the 2 bedroom house on the first floor that opened to a stairway that led down to a veranda secured by an iron gate and which wound up to an open terrace with a furnished a single room that remained locked most of the year. There was a neighbor on the first floor and one more family that lived downstairs. Except the balcony, most aspects of this house was safe. Yet one night, a well grown up adult, all of 25 years, crept from the top of the bed in the middle of the night with pillows and bed sheet and found a cozy place under the bed. Thank God, the maid had done a good job of cleaning under the cot as well. She slept there for the rest of the night anticipating the thief in the balcony to break in anytime. The same followed for 10 consecutive nights until the sane adult of the house returned home. As if this was not enough, blank calls for real kept coming, sometimes for 20 times a day until my neighbor uncle answered once and threatened the caller. That was five years back and the pains of living alone.

If you were wondering if there really was a thief, then you know the answer. The demons were inside her head, not outside. I was busy conjuring images of non-existent people, dreaming of noises no one could hear in the night. I was not bored of living alone when V traveled extensively soon after we got married. I was scared of staying alone during the nights. I would catch up for all the lost sleep of the week in the daytime during the weekends, fresh to resume night duty for the following week. My sleeping under the cot saga was a standing joke at work. Things changed for the better when we moved to our apartment. The feeling that there were 100 other families in the same apartment complex and 3 other neighbors on the same floor gave a sense of security. I was still not brave enough to sleep with lights on. So I would leave the kitchen light on through the night even if it interfered with my sleep routine.

Five years later, I have not got any better. I am still scared of staying home alone during the nights. V's official engagements keeps him away for short durations but they also happen at a short notice. The 2000 sq. ft house does not help in any way in keeping my fear in check. More doors to be locked, balcony and terrace to be secured, quick dial on the cell phone ready, a torch handy and the adjoining room's light on sees me through the night. I consider it a good night if I managed to sleep for 3-4 hours. For me this is the tough part of staying alone. All the rest can be handled like shopping, paying bills etc etc - you know all that it takes to run the show. Maybe I will put up a brave front with LG growing up :)

Back from the dark ages

What it means not to stay connected all day, we realised this past week. Our laptop has been behaving weird and the worst happened as expected last Tuesday. It crashed and neither of us found the time to fix it or get it fixed until last night. We have a HP Pavilion ZX5000 that has strange power issues. Despite replacing the original battery with a new one, it doesn't get charged beyond 37% and had come to a state that it required to be directly on power all the time. Then one thing led to another and soon it was shutting down automatically every now and then - sometimes as soon as I would restart it and sometimes it would go on for 4 hours. HP customer care was no help as they refused to address complaints for this particular notebook and battery series as this is not sold in India.
I guess these repeated shut downs for over 4-5 months finally led to its crash and the system wasn't even booting up. And I couldn't find the damn XP CD. Finally, borrowed it from a friend and reached till the recovery console. V's HTC Touch phone finally helped. I've been silently complaining about his spending a fortune first on the O2 and then on HTC. But it finally came to our rescue as we connected it with the Netgear setup and troubleshooted the notebook. Its back to life but the power problems exist.
Never thought life would be crippled without staying connected - delayed mobile bill payments, couldn't book flight tickets, for that matter no out-of-ordinary dinners as recipes stayed out of reach and finally no checking e-mails or blogging.

Gang of girls and the art of writing personal e-mails

Once upon a time, not so long ago (to be precise 12 years ago), a gang of girls - A,C,L,M,R,R,S went to the same college for their undergraduate studies. They came from different places, some from different countries with starkly varied family backgrounds. Over the four years they spent at college, they grew close to one another many of which were circumstantial (you know how college friendships form). They were 7 in number (and I believe one of them reads this blog occasionally) and not all of them were close to one another while they lived on campus. I say their friendships were circumstantial like A and L slept next to each other - I mean in adjoining beds and shared bedtime stories for a year - yea yea they had a paucity of beds, A and C went to the same class for 3 years, M and S went to the same class, A and R traveled home together and the list goes on..and somewhere down the line the web was formed because of one's association with the other and the seven got acquainted with each other. This is their brief history.

It has been a good eight years since they passed out of college but have stayed in touch with each other, sometimes through e-mails, sometimes through phone calls. They all stay in different timezones across the world with the population in US slightly heavier than that in India. All married, busy with their professional careers and families. I think it is amazing to keep the group thread of yahoo e-mails alive and going this long. Whats the big deal you might ask in this age of instant access to anyone and staying connected 24*7? That's precisely the big deal - the intent to stay connected in this use and throw age keeping the goodwill going. These group e-mails have brought so many good news along the way - weddings, birth of the next generation, family marriages, graduation ceremonies, kodak moments and those-little-happy-moments like i bought this car, I moved into a new house kind of stuff. Each of them might not know the daily grindings of other's lives but all the big stuff is shared.

Why this post? Because, I have personally failed at the art of writing these good personal e-mails that I admire. I look at awe sometimes the length of e-mails and think to myself, "Wow, there is so much to tell and to write. Isn't there anything exciting happening with me?" The truth is, there is. But, it is at times tough to connect with friends you've not met in ages that makes you wonder if this stuff is to mundane to write about, or if you are bragging too much about what you do, do they know the history of what I'm writing now or am I revealing too much about someone other than us that is going to get controversial. Oh believe me, I've burnt my fingers bad which is perhaps why I limit myself to the one or two liners. In short, it is an art to write sweetly revealing so much you need to and I need to get better at this to keep these friendships for a lifetime. Some friendships are meant to be ..

Updated on 19th August 2007 : A member of the gang of girls - C, wrote to me with her opinion. It would not do any justice to this post without posting what she wrote so here it is..

It is very hard to draw the line between sharing without over-doing it as well as expressing yourself while not offending someone else. Esp. since all of us are no longer young/in college. We have families and people whom we are extremely sensitive about – even about the smallest of careless comments. We have all grown up to be people different from whom we were and whom the other used to know (and be able to gauge) so well!

But it still is great that we are in touch and can share so much! Here’s to one great group of friends - Cheers!