Decisions, decisions? It was time to make a decision again. I had two choices on Saturday. One decision to be made. Company X. Company Y. To quote David Russell's words , "The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn." Saying no to one and accepting the other. It was difficult and I was choosing one over the other, dilly dallying between them every other hour. Confused in the head. Cursing myself for putting myself in a spot so frequently. For when I was choosing one over the other, it was only the favorable aspects that were visible to me.
I do not regret or judge that the decision I made a month back was a wrong one. From all the variables available then, I did what I did then. I did not have a choice then. This experience has taught me not to rush into anything before weighing all the factors and the consequences.
To help us make a better and informed decision this time and not question myself a month later and most importantly to stand by what I decide, we took a piece of paper and listed down all the pros and cons of both the choices. We refrained from getting influenced by intuition or guesses. The most critical thing that helped me was to get my priorities straight. Getting a good perspective of our long term plans. I might not have all the answers to the "what ifs" but I want to be committed! I have acknowledged that in part "hodophobia" (however ridiculous it might sound) was driving me to choose company Y over X. I'm working on it by distracting myself / playing Su DoKu and it has helped me immensely.
It is hard when everyone raises an eyebrow over your decision. It is demotivating and I think "what was I thinking?". I don't want to do that anymore. So this post is a note to myself to go back to my pros and cons sheet when in doubt in future. There is the human tendency that provokes one to get consensus for all the decisions. Getting the tag of "Ms. Right" and not being called "Ms.Unethical Unprofessional". This is not possible always and I have to understand that. It is frustrating and hard today but I will live through it.
Good decisions come from experience, and experience comes from bad decisions.