I'm 2 months old, says Lil General

Pranav. 60 Days old. 5.1 Kgs. 57 Cms. Wheatish Brown. Brown Eyes. 12 hours of sleep. On Diet. Clean habits : Wet my bed only 10 times a day. Single and ready to make friends.

Alrighty folks, if you liked my first edition, I'm here with how my second month passed by.

Its official. My name is Pranav. So, please stop calling me by weird sounding names - Kunju (mom), Juniol(pa), Thambudu(grandma), munnu(grandpa), ulli (grandpa)....

I've lost all the excess hair on my arms from birth and don't like Brother Bear anymore.

I've made 3 new friends - Mbiki, the bear, Bunny Rabbit and Winnie. Yuko, my dear friend still hangs out with me on late Friday night parties.

Continue reading ...

Pa was here for my second month birthday and it was fun playing Undertaker with him.

Stopped painting my mommmy's dresses yellow, still wet the bed though. Who said wetting is not gentlemanly?

I've acquired a good sense of fashion and this month was good for my wardrobe. One new dress everyday makes me a happy kid. I've styled my hair like a porcupine.

My fuzzy vision is gone. I can see beyond 12 inches and flash that 1000 Watt smile every time I see mommy and the orange curtain.

People said I'm too fast when I turned on my tummy on 22nd Dec - when I was just a month and 4 days old. I say I'm just too bored of lying around.

Spend more than 20 seconds with my mom and she will treat you to a lengthy discourse on how many hours I slept, how many she slept. She maintains a log to the minute of my sleep, counts my susoos, analyses the color of my poop and the number of times I fart. I'm telling ya she has gone nuts. She better get back to work soon.

Oh! I forgot to tell you about my favorite friend - Doc uncle. I visit him once every 3 days for indigestion, cold ,cough. Its been rough and the vaccine pained like hell. but Doc is very nice to me. I have all the syrups from the local pharmacy in my room now. Some syrups taste sweet, some bitter, some hot...but all much better than mommy's milk.

I sleep best on my pa's shoulders. I give a tough time to mummy and keep her guessing why I'm crying. Now I cry differently for my different needs..

1. I'm hungry. I need to be fed.


2. Putting me down after every feed irritates me. Regurgitating after the feed makes me comfortable.


3. I've done it. I'm lying in a wet bed. Change my nappy. Make it quick.


4. Dodos..I need some air. I'm either too warm or too cold. Touch my neck or tummy and decide which one it is.


5. I can't sleep by myself. Hold me and sing me lullabies.


6. Stomach ache. Mommy ..what did you eat. My tummy is aching.


7. Hiccup is bothering me. Will you do something about it?


8. I need to urinate but its paining. I'm straining...


9. I'm sick..running nose, fever and an irritating throat etc..


10. I'm colic.


11. No good reason. I'm bored and need some entertainment.

Remembering Rose Day

Every house has a whole pile of books, newspaper cuttings, photographs, memorabilia and greeting cards accumulated over the years. Its been the same with Pravin and I. We have collected so much stuff over the years that it takes up a whole cupboard at our parents'. Mom leaves the annual chore of discarding what is not needed, organizing and keeping the space (earmarked for this) clean to us. Very little goes out. It is funny how one gets nostalgic about a lot of things they weren't so crazy about the first time around. We relive those years during these cleaning sessions and decide it is worth keeping and that's how the pile keeps getting bigger and bigger until we finally ran out of space.

So this year, mom took it upon herself to clean the "junk" as she called it. And today she spent a good lot 4 hours doing that. Believe me, most of the stuff went back in like the newspaper cutting that said I stood first in our district in 12th Std exams and so on. And the invitation where mom was felicitated for my performance and so on.

Midway through the cleaning session, she pulled a white envelope from a bunch of similar envelopes and read aloud "Rotary Club, Trichy..something". All of them were dated Dated 17th February, 1999, and on them were written the words "Rose Day" and "PINK" inside a box.

Mom : "Do you know what these white envelopes are?"
I : "mmmmm...no..whats written?"
Mom opens the envelope and reads: "Happy Birthday from S..Dated 17th Feb 1999"

All of them are marked PINK on the envelope. There are about 5 of them. Do you need them? I know what they are now..after a moment I replied "Umm..no you can do away with them now."

If you are a RECTian, it shouldn't take long to guess what those envelopes were. In 1999, Rose Day was celebrated on 17th Feb. "Rose Day" was organised by STEP TREC club every year to celebrate Valentine's Day. They had roses delivered between the students across hostels with personalised messages sealed in envelopes labelled PINK (for friendship), YELLOW, WHITE (for Peace), RED (you know for what) and BLACK (for enemity). The event was fun for some to play pranks, some yearned for it to profess their love, for some 'psychos' it was just another day, for some there was lot to gossip on who exchanged what and for some it mattered who was crowned to have got the maximum no. of roses..I forget the terms..Some long lasting relationships. friendships, some that turned into marriages were made this day as some reading this post might agree.

Well well for me to open those bunch of envelopes this Valentine Day eight years later was going down the memory lane..If this is not coincidence, then what is?

Updated: I got a note from a friend (anonymity maintained) on this post who has seen Rose Days from close quarters..here is an excerpt of the message

Ah, rose day... getting up early in the morning to go to some god forsaken market in Trichy to buy hundreds of yucky-looking roses. Going to the stadium to sort them into colors, to create the black roses by bundling up thorns ....

A Labor Story : Concluding part

Monday, 18th Dec 2006 5:30 p.m. - Intestines popping out

With the tablet not giving the desired outcome, I was induced drips and within minutes a throbbing pain developed that just increased in intensity. It would be there for 5 minutes and then go away.

Just when the Doc was about to leave the room, there was a huge commotion and suddenly I see the doors opening and a few men coming up the stairs carrying a huge person in a stretcher. The person on the stretcher, a lady in her mid 50s, was transferred to a operating table, helped out of her dress into the dressing gown (all this happening in front of our eyes). Just then I caught the mess she had become .. something near her stomach was popping out....you wouldn't want a description of that. I learnt later she was operated 15 days back and her uterus removed. She had apparently not adhered to the Doc's safety measures due to which the stitches had given away and she brought in. Another surgeon from across town was summoned.

With all the resources now attending to this emergency, I was left alone and at times the janitor was asked to sit by my side who would shout all the time. I retrospect, this is the only regret I have in this whole labor process. I wish nurses in hospitals spoke nicely to patients. When you are in so much pain, the least you can expect is some comforting words. Hospitals are so commercialised now that no one cares about service or whether you are alive/dead..its money all the way. In a country like India with a population of 1 billion plus, life of cattle is more dear than human life.

Continue reading A Labor Story


Monday, 18th Dec 2006 5:45 p.m. - I'm hungry, thirsty
I think I'm going to pass out in the pain. I cannot compare the pain to anything else because I have never experienced something of that intensity before.

I'm hungry.

I'm thirsty.

I feel like urinating.

I feel like pooping.

I can feel the contractions.

I feel like dying........

I am scared.

I am screaming in pain now.

I feel like seeing mom.

CNG : "Would you like orange juice?"

Myself: "Hell, yes."

She is called into the operating room for that intestine lady. And my juice is forgotten. There is no one attending to me. I can hardly speak. I muster some energy and motion my hand towards a passing human being and request for some water. Water comes a good 10 mins late. I also request to send mom in. The request is denied flatly.

Monday, 18th Dec 2006 6:00 p.m. - I become an exhibit now. That damn word "strain".
Thank god, someone thought this screaming girl needs some help. The Cynical Nurse who is an administrator in the hospital and has no clues about giving birth to babies comes in and sits on my bed. She is accompanied by the janitor and an anonymous nurse. All of them yell at me to get froggy and not "waste the pain".

"Strain, strain", they scream.

Assuming they meant push, I lift my legs, hold it tight with my hands and push hard. They are disappointed.

"You are not trying hard. All that's coming out is only blood."

I'm lying in a pool of blood.

Taking deep breaths, in my next contraction, I push hard. They are excited now. One anonymous nurse says, "See there is the head now". She places the doppler and says the baby's head is fixed and I got to try real hard now.

Monday, 18th Dec 2006 6:30 p.m. - Listen to my advice : Respect your mother and Don't make a baby

The interval between contractions had decreased. The pain down there was like this huge thing trying to gush out through a opening with the same rhythm as ocean waves would lash the shore and recede. Now imagine this happening every 5 minutes.

Two thoughts occurred to me that minute. The respect for my mother grew a zillion times for living through so much pain. I regretted for giving so much grief for mom. Don't ever hurt your moms, give them all the happiness you can. The pain they went through to give birth to you is something that words can never do justice.

The second thought was people who say my bundle of joy has arrived are either lying or they would have had a C-Section. It is simply not possible to live through so much pain and love that little one. Its just a bundle. And I was crazy enough to make a baby.

Monday, 18th Dec 2006 7:00 p.m. I'm taken in
The Doc is out after operating on the intestine lady. I'm walked into the operating room. Half my body is on a chair. Legs are propped up on two stands. Once in this position, the entire arrangement is elevated. I'm back to the permanent frog position. I can see myself in the overhead mirror.

Contraction sets in and I'm pushing hard. Doc says "I'm not close enough to get the baby out". Cynical Nurse suggests that they go downstairs and finish the consultations and then be back. Damn Cynical Nurse.

I plead with the Doc not to leave me and go.

I cry, "I can't bear the pain anymore."

"Please do a C-Section. I want to die. I can't take this anymore.", I plead with her.

She casts a disgusted look and leaves.

Monday, 18th Dec 2006 7:15 p.m. A new nurse
The Fat Mean Nurse Anu arrives and CNG hands over her shift to her with a quick rundown of the cases. Anu is initially patient encouraging looking attentively at me down there. Consciously avoiding the overhead mirror, I accidentally look at it between contractions while turning my head from one side to the other. Gynaec's job is not a pretty one to look at multiple v* through their careers patiently waiting for the head to come.

Monday, 18th Dec 2006 7:30 p.m. Quick Contractions
Quick contractions now. Contractions that were minutes part are now seconds apart. Anu is joined by 2 more nurses and they are all encouraging me to "strain".

"Push". "Push". "come on strain a little more. you are doing good."

The pain is gone.

At last, I've learnt what it meas to "strain" else I was going to ask for a Dictionary so that there is no communication gap :) I take a deep breath ad keep pushing hard. But it is not hard enough for the big head to come out. They can see the hair of the baby now.

In retrospect, I feel I could have done better if I had more emotional support if they had allowed mom to come in or if they allow husbands. I think hospitals in smaller towns in India should allow husbands to stay by the side of their wives during labor.

Monday, 18th Dec 2006 7:45 p.m. When will this stop?
I swear to kill anyone who talks about having a second baby. It can't get any worse than this. I have no energy to scream. Some wise person had once said, "Conserve your energy. Don't scream. Instead push." I did just that. Convinced this is as far as it could get, Anu ran downstairs to get the Doc.

Monday, 18th Dec 2006 7:55 p.m. A moment of relief
Doc comes in. By then I had taken a break and got my legs down. The nurses were wild that I was not in position. Legs and thighs were paining badly because of being in the frog position this long.

I feel my body is going to come apart and the baby is just going to cut through the muscles and fall out. So bad is the pain. Seeing the Doc, I was relieved but concerned too that she too might just ask me to keep pushing and I wondered for how long this see-sawing would go on.

Monday, 18th Dec 2006 8:10 p.m. A prick
The equipment is all ready. Doc puts on the gloves. Has everything ready. I'm avoiding looking at the overhead mirror. I feel a quick prick down there. And then a scissor/knife like thing that runs down the skin to make a opening big enough for the baby to come out. The injection might have been a local anaesthesia. I didn't feel the pain while she cut through.

Monday, 18th Dec 2006 8:13 p.m. Lil General arrives
There is a pump like thing next to me. She picks it and pumps in through my opening. I can feel the baby coming out. The head and then it gets worse for a few seconds as the body slithers out. Lil General is born. I'm surprised this part was so quick and easy. I see the Doc lifting the baby by its head in a forecep like thing and handing it over to the nurse. They timed his birth at 8:13 p.m.

I don't feel the umbilical cord being cut. The first thing I notice in the baby as he is being handed over is his ASSET dangling.

Delivered through vacuum, Lil General was a boy. A healthy 3.2 Kg baby.

Monday, 18th Dec 2006 9:00 p.m. Post delivery pain is worse than contraction
From 8:15 p.m. until 9:00 p.m. I was being stitched. The Doc said later she was worried about my excessive bleeding. I cried and cried in pain through the stitching process. This pain was worse than the labor pain. Every inch of my body ached. To flush out the residual blood in the body, the Doc would insert something called a "kidney pack" which was like a hard pouch through a hole of probably 1 inch width down there and get it out forcibly...it would push all the blood out. She did this about 5 times. I glanced at the overhead mirror and all I saw was blood, blood and blood..all over. Like a scene out of some exorcist movie...

I'm given drips to control the bleeding. The Doc leaves. I'm alone.

Monday, 18th Dec 2006 9:15 p.m. I want to see Mom
I tell Anu I want to see Mom. My request is denied.

Monday, 18th Dec 2006 9:30 p.m. I want to see Mom
I plead with Anu to see Mom. I cry on seeing Mom. After a few minutes I ask Mom what baby it was. Anu was shocked. She said I'm probably the first patient in her career who has asked an hour after the baby's birth about the baby.

Monday, 18th Dec 2006 10:15 p.m. I'm in pain.

"Please give me some painkiller.", I plead with Anu.

"This is no pain. you got to bear it.", says Anu.

"How many kids do you have?" I ask casually.

None came the reply.

"No kids, no opinion." I retorted, feeling sorry about having said that later.

Monday, 18th Dec 2006 11:30 p.m. I go to the room. End of a long day.
After washing me up ad inducing drips again, I'm walked to the room. After 5 steps I can see the path ahead diminishing anf my head spinning. Suddenly it is all dark and I pass out on the way. I'm helped onto my feet again and make it thr a few feet to the room and crash on the bed. The night is a blur. I wake up every hour to see the time and calculate how long it would be before Vivek gets there. It was the end of a long day.

Lil General, welcome to the family. You are a bundle of joy.

A Labor Story contd... - Part 2

The content for this post has been swimming in my head for weeks now. Reminiscing those hours leading to the birth of the Lil General here in full detail will make for a grouse reading, so be forewarned and use your discretion.

Monday, 18th December 2006, 12:30 p.m.
I have been pacing up and down the room while the rest of the family is reading my face, talking to hospital staff, taking phone calls and settling down.

Monday, 18th December 2006, 1:00 p.m. Pain Intensifies
Composed Nurse Geetha (Lets calls her CNG) comes in with the doppler. Checks BP and the baby's heartbeat.
She asks, "How far apart are the pains?" I've no idea. She promises to be back by 1:30 p.m. I keep pacing the floor. God, I think whose idea was it to make a baby.

Monday, 18th December 2006, 1:30 p.m. Enema time - the best way to clear your tummy
Am so relieved to see CNG. Everyone is asked to step out of the room while she asks me to lie down and pumps something like soap water inside me. Minutes later I rush to the toilet and can feel my system clearing out. My my...there was so much inside. Having lunch was such a waste of time.

CNG promises to be back by 2:00 p.m.

Continue reading A Labor Story


Monday, 18th December 2006, 2:00 p.m. Clock is ticking
No sign of CNG yet. Mom is wondering when they are going to take me inside as I'm in pain. I'm not talking..only the decibel level of my moaning has been on the rise.

Monday, 18th December 2006, 2:30 p.m. Yo..CNG is here.
CNG asks me how I'm feeling. I wasn't sure what to answer that would make her take me into the operating room. So I stay quiet and let my face and sounds do the talking.

She times the gap between the pains. I tell her it has been paining once every 5 mins. Not convinced, she decides it is actually 10 mins apart.

Leaves. Promises to be back at 3:00 p.m.

Monday, 18th December 2006, 3:00 p.m.
No one yet. Anonymous nurse peeks in and leaves. I am wailing in pain. Mom is sitting by my side helpless.

Monday, 18th December 2006, 3:30 p.m. Time to go in
CNG times the pains. It is 5 mins apart. Time to go in. I cast a 'bye' look at mom and go in, with no idea of what to expect. Mom walks me until the operating area which is about 20 feet away from our room.

Monday, 18th December 2006, 3:35 p.m. Not the real operating room. More waiting in order.
It is a huge room with many cots. The decor is not pleasing. Dull white walls. There is a big white board that has the names of the patients to be operated that evening.

All the beds are empty. There are a few operating rooms at one end of the room. At the far end is a stack of medicines and probably a toilet.

I'm helped out of my dress into the hospital gown - a dull grey one - the kind you see in TV. One anonymous nurse plaits my hair and ties it up with a white thread - good fashion sense :). They clean me up. While one nurse is doing that, the other is looking and a third is chatting. I expect the action to start soon, but nothing happens.

The anonymous nurses are now joined by some janitors and they all gossip about the Doc, how busy the hospital is today - the no. of out patients attended to by Doc already up at 54. That there is a steady flow of people down at the lounge and people are getting impatient/wild..some having come at 11:00 a.m. haven't yet met the Doc.

Monday, 18th December 2006, 4:00 p.m. - Pain subsides
Pain has subsided over the past 10 mins and I momentarily slip into dreamland. This sinful act is caught my CNG.

CNG shakes me, "What happened to your pains?"

I reply, "Oh, its there." I'm worried they might not get the baby out and fake the pain. But you know what, you can't fake real labor pain. Doppler and BP checks happen every 30 mins.

The anonymous nurses are still gossipping.

Monday, 18th December 2006, 4:10 p.m. - Pain intensifies. Position taught. That magical word "Strain".
Pain is back and so is my moaning.

CNG teaches me to "strain" during pain by getting my legs up like a frog and "strain" myself as if I'm constipated. She asks me to keep trying when there is pain.

Monday, 18th December 2006, 4:15 p.m. - I have company
Pain hasn't subsided. A lady is admitted next to me. Her caesarean is scheduled for 4:50 p.m. that evening. She is cleaned. She is not in pain and is sleeping peacefully. How lucky I think to myself.

Monday, 18th December 2006, 4:45 p.m. - Imperfect timing. I am reprimanded
The anaesthetist is here for the Caesarean lady (Sudha, I got to know her later). Action begins in the room. Sudha is taken in for the operation - turns out she wanted her baby out before 5:30 p.m. - some auspicious timing funda.

CNG - the experienced nurses of all, goes for the operation. I'm left under the supervision of the anonymous ones. A few minutes later the janitor takes over. I know I know ...She reprimands me for not "straining" and getting my legs up only after the pain has subsided. Poor timing ...I need to give birth to many babies to perfect this timing.

The mean janitor says, "At this rate you will only deliver by midnight. Do you want us to go home or not?"

I think, "Thank you for being so nice."

I'm alone again. In pain. I tell the anonymous nurse that I want to go to the bathroom. She helps me get up and walks me there but doesn't leave me. There is no privacy when you are in labor.

Monday, 18th December 2006, 5:15 p.m. - Yo! The Doc is here. Water breaks.
The Doc is out of the operating room after the Caesarean is done. That was fast I think. Meanwhile, the gossip has been on about the commotion in the lounge downstairs and the incessant wait. The joke is "Some people are making dinner plans at the lounge."

My pain has aggravated and so restless that I'm tossing and turning. Whenever I see people around I try the frog thing as though someone reminded me.

Doc tells me, "I'm proud of you. You have been patient and bearing the pain without making too much noise. I got to examine you."

Oh no, not again. The fist goes inside. Seconds later I'm lying in a pool of water. Now, I know what water breaking is all about.

My bed is cleaned up. Doc scolds CNG for being so careless all this while as the pain inducing tablet had not taken effect. She instructs her to induce me.

..to be contd...